


You Need a Tutor

by castles_and_crowns



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben is a grad student, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Light Angst, Math is hard, Rey is an undergrad, Slow Burn, Tutoring
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-06-01 18:36:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 38,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15149360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castles_and_crowns/pseuds/castles_and_crowns
Summary: Rey is an engineering student who finds herself struggling with calculus.   Desperate, she goes to the math tutoring center on campus for help.  Meanwhile, Ben Solo is a grad student who's required to work a certain amount of hours in the math tutoring center.  When Ben reluctantly offers to help Rey with her work, a relationship forms between them that neither are expecting.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first Reylo fic as well as my first real AU fic. I’m quite nervous about it, but overall, I’m really proud of it, and if I waited until I was 100% confident in it, I’d never post it. 
> 
> A few housekeeping notes: I don’t have a beta, so I apologize for any grammar mistakes, specifically those concerning the proper tense. I don’t usually write in present tense, but I wrote this first chapter that way and then realized I liked it like that and didn’t want to change it. Also, there will be no appearance from Kylo Ren. This is all Ben Solo, if you get my drift. Third, "You Need a Tutor" was my working title. I suck with titles, so that's what it wound up being. Lastly, I hate math and have never taken calculus. Hopefully, the I didn't screw anything up in regard to that. 
> 
> (Obviously, this world belongs to Lucasfilm)
> 
> Here, we go! *gulps*

A clock in Rey’s head is silently counting down the minutes until she has to take her first calculus exam of the semester. Her heart’s beating fast, both from nerves and from climbing up two flights of stairs to the third floor of the math building where the math tutoring center is. Her best friend Finn had suggested she go there and ask for help, and at first, Rey was reluctant.

 

All her life, Rey has been great at math. In fact, she _loves_  it, and that was a big factor in choosing engineering as her field of study. But now, as a junior in college, Rey has come across her first serious roadblock to her degree: _calculus._ With Finn’s suggestion ringing in her ears, Rey has decided to swallow her pride and reluctantly—though speedily—make her way to the tutoring center.

 

When she gets to the third floor, she pauses a moment to catch her breath. _Who puts a tutoring center on the third floor,_ she thinks bitterly, before continuing on down the hallway. She quickly finds the room, opens the door, and walks inside.

 

It’s a large space filled with round tables and chairs and there are multiple whiteboards that have math equations way more advanced than Rey’s ever seen. There are about a dozen people in the room, and only about half seem to actually be working diligently. The rest seem to be chatting about non-math related things. And then there’s this one guy isolated in a corner of the room reading a book.

 

“Poe Dameron?” Rey asks to no one in particular.

 

It’s the name of the tutor Finn had suggested she see. Last semester, Finn had been struggling in his trigonometry class, and he had raved about how good of a tutor Poe had been. Finn wound up passing the class with a high B. Rey, of course, wanted an A in her calculus class, but she knew she probably needed less help than Finn had needed.

 

Nobody responds to Rey. In fact, nobody acknowledges her at all. Her heartbeat revs up and she thinks about how her exam is quickly approaching.

 

Clearing her throat, she speaks a little louder. “Is Poe Dameron here?”

 

This time, two girls look up from their chatting and make momentary eye-contact with her, but neither bothers answering her.

 

~

 

Ben Solo works in the math tutoring center four days a week for two hours each day, and he _hates_ it. Working in the tutoring center is part of his responsibility as a graduate student, and thankfully he’s only got one year left of his doctorate program.

 

What annoys Ben most about working in the tutoring center is that the majority of the students who come in don’t even want or need help with their math classes; most students use the room to socialize. What’s worse is that the other tutors don’t enforce the rule that the room is not for mingling. Ben tried enforcing the rule once a few years back, and when he did, the other graduate students told him to relax and not be so uptight. One thing Ben Solo has never been good at is relaxing. But he’s been in therapy on and off for most of his adolescent and adult life and has learned to just _let things go_ , so that’s what he does. He’s never said anything else about the incessant chitchat in the tutoring center. Instead, he simply sits there for his two required hours a day and seethes in silence, while trying to get in some reading.

 

Currently, this girl, who has just entered the room, is asking for fellow tutor and graduate student Poe Dameron. Poe is part of the reason the tutoring center is such a mess, and at first Ben thinks this girl is just one of the many who is hoping to catch Poe’s attention. Unfortunately for her, he’s not here today. When the girl asks for Poe again, Ben looks up from his book.

 

_Maybe she’s not just here to make goo-goo eyes with Poe_ , Ben thinks. Actually, the girl looks like a deer caught in headlights.

 

He sees her open her mouth to ask a third time, and he catches her eyes before she does. He points to a piece of posterboard on the wall where the tutors’ schedules are plotted out.

 

“Dameron’s not here today,” he says, as he watches her scan the poster for confirmation.

 

Poe tutors here on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays. Today is Monday. The girl’s eyes fall, and he can almost _feel_ the frustration radiating off of her.

_~_

Rey’s stomach twists into anxious knots as she learns that Poe will not be in the tutoring center today. Her eyes turn back to the guy who directed her to the poster with the schedules—the same guy who was sitting alone in the corner of the room reading.

 

Thinking that she has nothing left to lose, she walks over to where he’s sitting. When she starts making her way to him, his eyes goes wide and he sort of frowns, and she gets the sense that maybe he doesn’t want to be disturbed. But he’s a tutor, according to the lanyard around his neck, and she needs a tutor desperately right now.

 

He’s an interesting looking guy, maybe not conventionally attractive, but there’s something appealing about his face nonetheless. His eyes are dark and his face is sprinkled with small moles. He has a prominent nose, though it doesn’t take up his face in a way that is distracting, and his hair is jet black and falls just short of his shoulders. He looks tall, though she can’t know for certain because he’s sitting down, and he’s wearing a forest green flannel shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and dark blue jeans. All in all, a handsome if not unique-looking guy. The expression on his face, however, is a little unsettling.

 

“I’ve got a calculus exam that I need help studying for. Would you be able to help?” she asks, using her sweetest voice in an attempt to wipe the almost-frown from his face.

 

“You actually need help, huh?” he asks, his voice incredibly deep.

 

  She looks at him, bewildered. “Well, yeah…that’s why I’m here.”

 

“You came in looking for Dameron. Part of me assumed you were just here to flirt with him like most of the other girls who come in.”

 

“I don’t even know what the guy looks like,” she responds, annoyed that he still hasn’t answered her question.

 

He sighs, and she suspects he’s picked up on her annoyance.   

 

“When’s your exam?”

 

“Just under two hours.”

 

The frown still playing on his lips grows deeper. “Why did you wait so long to study?”

 

Rey crosses her arms. _Why is any of this his business? Why can’t he just_ help?

“I work seven days a week. Two jobs. Now…will you help me?”

 

~

 

Ben feels faintly guilty for being kind of rude to her. The girl works two jobs, so she probably doesn’t have it very easy.

 

He answers her question with a terse nod, and she quickly pulls up a chair beside him.

 

His focus is statistics, and he hasn’t taken a calculus class since undergrad, but he was always really good at it back then.

 

The girl pulls out her textbook and notebook from her backpack and opens them. Ben takes a look, seeing what exactly it is she’s learning. It’s the basics.

 

He closes his novel and picks up his pencil.

 

“Okay,” he says, glancing at the girl. “Let’s start here.”

 

The girl gives him a quick, relieved smile, and they get to work.

 

~

 

An hour and a fifteen minutes later, Rey feels much better about her exam. This guy is a fantastic tutor, and she has a hard time believing that Poe Dameron would have been better.

 

She thanks him profusely as she puts her books back in her bag and stands from her chair.

 

“Thanks again,” she says, sticking out her hand. “I’m Rey, by the way.”

 

The guy looks baffled by her introduction, but he accepts her hand and shakes it.

 

“I’m Ben. Glad I could help you a little, Rey. Good luck on your exam.”

 

“Thanks, Ben.”

 

Their introduction completed, Rey turns around and heads toward the exit. When she gets to the door, she turns to smile and wave one last time at Ben, but his head is already back in his book.

 

She shrugs to herself and exits the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm probably going to regret posting this chapter now because I haven't yet revised the rest of the work. It's all written (as of 30 minutes ago), but it still needs to be worked on a bit. I was just so excited about finishing this because this story has been in my head for about a month and I've done nothing but plan and write it. My goal is to post a chapter every week, maybe even every 5 or 6 days if my revising goes well.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed the first chapter and thank you for reading.


	2. Chapter 2

Ben Solo is currently hate-watching Poe Dameron flirt with a gaggle of girls who are surrounding him at his table in the tutoring center. Today, most of Poe’s attention is focused on a tall, thin brunette who giggles at everything Poe says, most of which, Ben assumes, isn’t even that funny.

 

Unlike Poe who’s surely had many relationships, Ben has never really had one. At twenty-six, he’s been on only a few first dates and even fewer second dates. He’s never been great with women.

 

In high school, he had a problem with rage and depression, and after asking out his crush and being rejected by her, he punched a locker so hard it left a dent in the metal. By college, he was a pro at therapy and thankfully his rage and depression had toned down a great deal. The fear of rejection, however, still lingered. During his college career, he managed to ask out a few girls—and one had even asked _him_ out—though nothing ever came of those few dates. A large part of that had to do, Ben knew, with his closed off personality. After going on one or two dates with him, these girls would just disappear into thin air. Deep down he recognized he wasn’t always the best company, especially when he was nervous, but it still hurt, and it definitely stoked his fear of rejection. After each failed date, Ben found it that much harder to ask the next girl out until eventually, he just stopped trying.

 

Ben attributed a lot of his closed off personality to a lack of connection. He rarely felt like he _connected_ with any of the women he had been on dates with. He thought maybe if he just had more time with these women, he’d _learn_ to connect with them, but because they ended things so quickly, he never got the chance.

 

In graduate school he met a woman, one he really thought he had finally made a true connection with. Things never got off the ground between them, however, because Ben had mistaken her friendliness as interest; the woman, it turned out, wasn’t into men, although she did wind up becoming one of Ben’s only friends. Ultimately, Ben considered this the closest thing to a win as far as his dating life was concerned.

 

So, with his abysmal luck with woman over the years, Ben, for all his annoyance at Dameron, can’t help but grudgingly appreciate how smooth he is with the girls who come into the tutoring center. Poe seems so at ease, talking and laughing with them, and Ben just can’t picture himself ever acting in that way with anyone.

 

Ben is watching Poe effortlessly slip his arm around the back of the tall brunette’s chair when the door opens, and the girl, Rey, walks in. Her eyes immediately catch Ben’s and she walks right toward him with a paper in her hand.

 

When she reaches his table, she holds the paper and flashes him a toothy smile.

 

“C+!” she exclaims.

 

There’s a big red _79_ written on the top of her exam. Ben allows himself a little smile. “Now, imagine what you could do if you didn’t wait until the last minute to study.”

 

Rey rolls her eyes, which Ben finds surprisingly endearing. “I told you…I work two jobs. “

~

 

When Ben simply shrugs his shoulders at her response, Rey can’t help but laugh. She is actually a little fascinated with how cantankerous he is.

 

“I work the late shift at a coffee shop four days a week. And then the other three nights, I babysit. Between that and my other classes, it’s a difficult balancing act.”

 

“Sounds like a lot,” he concedes.

 

“It is,” she tells him, though her voice is void of any attitude. “I’ve got a minor scholarship, but it doesn’t cover everything, and I support myself so…”

 

He seems mildly surprised by this, his eyebrows lifting ever so slightly, but he doesn’t say anything and only offers her a short nod.

 

“Well, I’ve got to get to my next class,” she says, after a moment. “I just wanted to stop by and thank you again for your help. I’ll have to come back here before my next exam.”

 

“Maybe sooner rather than two hours before,” he says, smirking.

 

She rolls her eyes at him for the second time in under two minutes, but there’s a grin on her face as she does so.

 

“Maybe,” she replies.

 

With that, she turns for the door. On her way out, she spots an attractive tan man sitting at a table surrounded by students, all giggling at whatever he’s just said. Not being able to help herself, she rolls her eyes one more time and then exits the room.

 

~

 

Unbeknownst to Rey, Ben sees her roll her eyes at Poe Dameron. The smirk still lingering on his lips becomes a full-on smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is incredibly short, I know. The next chapter is also very short, so I'll likely post that one in 3-4 days as opposed to 5-6 days.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	3. Chapter 3

Rey babysits an eight-year-old boy named B.B. three times a week.

 

During her freshman year, Rey had been looking for jobs. A Help Wanted ad in the local newspaper advertised a family looking for a babysitter who was good with little boys. Rey, who was a self-proclaimed tomboy and in desperate need of a job, called the number in the ad and B.B.’s mom invited Rey over to their house so that they could meet.

 

The first time Rey pulled up to the house, she couldn’t believe her eyes. It wasn’t a house; it was a mansion. The mansion was very post-modern in its design, and Rey could only imagine what it looked like on the inside.

 

The inside was just as extravagant as the outside, Rey observed, as B.B.’s mom Astor led Rey through the house and into the backyard, where she had tea and finger sandwiches waiting.

 

“I heard your accent over the phone and thought you might appreciate it,” Astor had said.

 

Actually, Rey had always hated tea, but she was polite and accepted a cup along with a few finger sandwiches, while Astor interviewed her.

 

Astor and her husband Melchior were both doctors, who needed a reliable babysitter to pick up their son from school Tuesday, Wednesday, and Friday and watch him until they got home from work later in the evening. By the end of the interview, Rey had been offered the job, and she had worked for the family ever since.

 

Tonight, after tucking B.B. into bed, Rey sits down in the living room with her calculus notes in an attempt to teach herself the material. She stares at her notes, taken diligently and with perfect penmanship, willing herself to understand what she’s written down, but it’s just not making sense. Typically, if Rey doesn’t understand something she’s learning, she’ll raise her hand and ask a question in class. In this class, however, she feels like she can’t. Her professor, Dr. Snoke, is an awful teacher and he’s terribly mean as well. Not only does he sit at his desk and simply click through a Power Point presentation of the notes, but he also talks down to anyone in class who asks for clarification on what he’s taught. Rey would drop the class and take it another semester, but she can’t fall behind with her credits. That’ll only cost more money, which, of course, she doesn’t have.

 

Eventually, she gives up on her notes and decides to just watch television instead. Maybe she’ll try looking at her notes again tomorrow after she’s had some sleep.

 

She’s about halfway into a nature documentary when Finn texts her and asks if she wants to join him at the local all night breakfast place after she gets off work. As much as she’d love to, Saturday mornings are typically when she gets most of her schoolwork done, so she usually doesn’t like being out late, particularly now that she’s still trying to figure out Calculus. She tells Finn as much. Finn (being Finn) replies, telling her that one B every now and then won’t kill her. Rey groans at the text and doesn’t bother responding. Finn doesn’t really understand.

 

Rey met Finn in a group home when they were nine years old. Both had lost their parents—Rey was taken away from hers and Finn’s had died in a car accident. They became best friends in the group home and eventually they both got placed in separate permanent foster homes. Finn’s parents, who were objectively amazing, wound up adopting him when he was thirteen and his life has been pretty perfect ever since. Rey, on the other hand, didn’t get so lucky. She was put in a foster home with a grumpy man named Unkar Plutt and she wound up counting the days until she could turn eighteen and move out on her own, which is exactly what she did. And she’s never looked back.

 

The problem was that Finn, having parents who were paying for his college education, didn’t fully grasp Rey’s predicament. He didn’t realize that school and work came before her social life. Typically, her nights off with friends had to be planned in advance and spread far out on her calendar. It wasn’t an idea situation, but she had to do what she had to do to get by.

 

~

 

Ben Solo sits at his favorite bar, enjoying his second and final beer as he does every Friday evening without fail. At the end of every week, Ben makes his way down to the bar First Order and gets exactly two beers. He sits alone drinking and reflects on his week. It’s his way of unwinding, and it’s something he looks forward to, even if the college kids around him think he seems creepy for sitting alone at the bar and not talking to anyone.

 

Thankfully, this is his last year in his Ph.D. program. Ben can’t wait to get out of this forsaken college town. He doesn’t know where he’ll go when he graduates, but he knows he won’t go back to his hometown where his family lives. Ben loves his parents, but he gets along better with them now that they don’t live in the same area.

 

He likes the idea of moving to a big city where he can be anonymous. Here, when people hear his last name, they usually know exactly who he is: the son of Han Solo and Leia Organa-Solo. His parents are both alums of the university as well as huge donors. Immediately, people look at him differently, either because they now know he’s incredibly wealthy or because he doesn’t live up to the idea of what they thought the son of the Han and Leia would look like.

 

In a big city, Ben can start over and be anyone he wants to be. He won’t carry the baggage of his last name or his “weird” personality or his pathetic dating history. He’ll start over, hopefully getting a job as a statistician, and be a completely different person.

           

At the end of the night, as he leaves the bar, he spots Poe Dameron with that girl he had been flirting with earlier in the week from the tutoring center. They are huddled close together in a booth, making googly eyes at each other. Taking a page out of that girl Rey’s book, Ben spares them a quick glance before rolling his eyes and heading out the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter. I'll admit..this one was a bit of a filler that I felt I needed for exposition and I couldn't quite figure out how to fit some of this info into another chapter. Ben and Rey will meet back up again in the next chapter though, which will be posted soonish (maybe Saturday?) because this chapter and the upcoming chapter are both short. 
> 
> As always, thanks for reading :)


	4. Chapter 4

The following Friday, Rey returns to the tutoring center. She’s spent the whole week trying to teach herself the material, but she’s gotten almost nowhere.

 

She walks right past Poe Dameron and his groupies and goes straight to the corner table where Ben is sitting and reading a book.

 

“Hey Ben,” she greets.

 

He looks up from his book and the corners of his lips twitch. “Hello Rey.”

 

“Think you can help me with some calculus?”

 

Ben’s eyes travel over to where Poe Dameron is sitting and he gives her a playfully conspiratorial look. “You sure you don’t want Dameron to help you?”

 

Rey grins. “He seems a little busy at the moment. And why mess with a good thing?”

 

“Okay,” he says. “Pull up a share and we’ll get started.”

 

Rey grabs a chair from a near by table and sidles up beside Ben, and they get to work.

 

~

 

Ben knows he’s a good tutor (when he has to be one), and he’s been able to tell since their first meeting that Rey is a good, smart student. But no matter how good a tutor or smart a student either is, neither can seem to focus with the growing giggling coming from the other side of the room.

 

 The noise is the worst it’s been in awhile, and if Rey weren’t here, Ben’s certain he would go off on Dameron. As it is, he has resorted to clenching his fist under the table and taking deep breaths.

 

He can tell Rey is getting frustrated too. She keeps making stupid mistakes, catching herself, groaning in frustration, and then offering him a quick apology.

 

“You’re doing fine,” he tells her. “Stop apologizing.”

 

“I just can’t _focus_ with the love fest going on over there,” she says finally, pointing her pencil in the direction of Poe.

 

“I don’t blame you,” he mutters. “Dameron is in rare form today.”

 

Rey looks at Ben, her eyes shining with earnestness. “I feel like I’ve wasted your time today. We’ve barely gotten through anything.”

 

An idea crosses Ben’s mind, one that surprises him: he could tutor her privately. They could pick a time a few days a week to meet in the library and work. He’s never offered to do that before, but there’s something endearing about Rey and her desire to do well in the class.

 

“How would you feel about meeting up at the library a couple times a week? I could tutor you there?”

 

Rey frowns. “I can’t afford to pay you.”

 

“You wouldn’t need to,” Ben says, shrugging. It’s not like he needs the money.

 

“I also barely have any free time on campus. This two hour time slot on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday is the only available time I have, so we’ll have to just find a way to do it here.”

 

Ben can tell she’s disappointed, and frankly, he is too. He hates to see someone with Rey’s ability not be able to live up to her full potential because of a shitty situation.

 

“Alright,” Ben sighs. “Well, let’s try to get back to work then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooo, I decided to update a day early. I planned on updating tonight at midnight, but I think I'll be asleep by then. The next chapter (which is longer, I promise) will be posted hopefully either Tuesday or Wednesday.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I promise I'll stop being so mean to Poe (for a little while) in the upcoming chapters. I really do like him in the canon universe!


	5. Chapter 5

Saturday evening, Ben heads over to a coffee place called Niima’s to get himself a coffee and a snack. He’s decided to pull an all nighter and work on the dissertation he’s fallen dreadfully behind on.

 

He usually goes to the chain coffee shop across the street from his apartment complex, but they’ve messed up his very specific order the last few times he’s been there, so he’s decided to try patronizing another place.

 

It’s a surprisingly chilly evening for mid-September, and Ben is practically fantasizing about the steaming hot coffee he’ll momentarily be drinking when he walks in and, to his surprise, sees Rey behind the counter.

 

She doesn’t spot him right away because she is busy making a customer’s drink. He strolls up to the counter and watches her as he patiently waits for his turn to order.

 

He’s only ever seen Rey in leggings and oversized t-shirts, but tonight she’s wearing dark blue skinny jeans and a form-fitting red polo shirt with a matching red baseball cap on her head that has her ponytail sticking out the back.

 

 _She’s a pretty girl,_ he thinks absentmindedly.  

 

When she finally turns around, her face lights up when she sees him standing there.

 

“Ben!” she exclaims. “Fancy seeing you here!”

 

“I didn’t know this was where you worked,” Ben says, gesturing around the shop. “Seems like a nice place.”

 

“It’s alright,” she says, shrugging. “What can I get you?”

 

Normally, he doesn’t feel the slightest bit guilty for his complicated coffee order, but with Rey taking it, he sort of does.

 

When he doesn’t answer right away, Rey taps her nails on the counter. “Ben? Do you need a minute?”

 

Ben clears his throat. “Um, no. Could I get a large, uh, half-sweet, non-fat caramel macchiato?”

 

Rey raises an eyebrow, definitely judging him. “That’s a complicated order.”

 

"You know what? You’re right. I’ll just get a—“

 

“No, no,” Rey says, putting her hand up to shush him. “I can make it. Don’t worry about it.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Yeah, it’s no big deal. Will that be all?”

 

Ben looks down at the glass case below the counter that’s displaying all of the pastries. Everything looks delicious.

 

“What would you recommend?” he asks, looking back up at her.

 

“Honestly, everything’s pretty damn good. My favorite is the apple fritter though.”

 

“I’ll get an apple fritter then.”

 

Rey types in his order into the cash register as she repeats it. “One apple fritter and a large, half-sweet, non-fat caramel macchiato.” She smirks as she says his coffee order, but Ben can sense there’s no malice in it.

 

After he pays, she bends down, grabs his apple fritter, bags it, and hands it to him. He then steps to the side so that she can make his order.

 

 _Okay, this apple fritter really is amazing_ , he thinks as he begins nibbling on it while waiting on his coffee. Two minutes later when she tells him his drink is ready, he tells her as much.

 

She seems really pleased, smiling and putting her hands casually on her hips. “That’s one of the nice things about working here. At the end of the night, I get to take home whatever we don’t sell.”

 

Ben’s in the middle of another bite when he says, “Hell, you could pay me to tutor you with just these fritters.”

 

He’d meant it as a light-hearted joke, but it’s obvious that Rey took it seriously. Her eyes go wide and a broad smile spreads across her face. She looks like she did when she came to tell him she’d gotten a C+ on her exam, full of hope and excitement.

 

~

 

Ben’s offer immediately jolts Rey out of her typical Saturday evening exhaustion. She slams her hands on the counter excitedly.

 

“Really?”

 

Ben shrugs. “Uh, sure.”

 

“When are you available? As I said before, my schedule’s pretty tight, but I could probably do nights after I get off of work. We close at eight on Sundays; every other night, we close at nine. Maybe we could do two days during the week and then Sunday nights? If you're available, that is.”

 

She’s rambling, she knows, but she’s just so ecstatic over his offer that she can’t help herself. An arrangement like this would certainly ensure that she gets an A in her calculus class.

 

When Ben offered to tutor her a few days ago, she’d been so excited for a split second before realizing that her schedule didn’t permit any extra time outside of the two free hours she had when Ben was in the tutoring center. She had thought that maybe there was a way for them to still meet up outside of regular school hours, but she didn’t want to be forward and invade _his_ free time. But since he had brought up the idea again, she assumes that maybe he’s not opposed to it.

 

“I could probably do that,” he responds, and she can’t tell if she’s amused him or annoyed him with her eagerness.

 

“The only thing though…” she realizes with a pang of disappointment, “I’m pretty sure the library is closed by the time I get off work.”

           

“It is,” Ben confirms. “It didn’t used to be, but thanks to all those recent budget cuts, they can’t adequately staff the library for the hours they used to have. I…I could come to your place?”

 

Rey sighs and shakes her head. She lives in a dorm and her roommate Rose is typically in bed by the time she gets off of work in the evening.

 

She sees something in Ben’s dark eyes that she can’t quite decipher. It could be indecision or reluctance or even slight embarrassment.

 

“I guess you could come over to my place, if you’re comfortable with that?”

 

Rey exhales a relieved breath and nods. “I’m totally comfortable with that.”

 

They decide to meet up on Sunday, Monday, and Thursday nights, and Rey gets his address and enters it into her phone. He lives in a nice apartment complex in a fancier area of town, but thankfully it’s not too far from work or from her dorm, so commuting shouldn’t be a problem.

 

Ben is still regarding her with that peculiar look in his eye. She wonders if she’s overstepped a boundary…but he offered, didn’t he? Still, she’s already so appreciative for everything he’s done for her over the past two weeks, and she doesn’t want to seem ungrateful or rude.

 

She starts to ask him if he’s sure he’s okay with this arrangement when he takes his first sip of his coffee and his eyebrows shoot up.

 

“Rey, this is magnificent.”

 

For some strange reason, she blushes. “Thanks.”

 

He takes another sip and shakes his head, as if he can’t believe she’s made such a great cup of coffee. Her cheeks are probably tomato red now and she bites the inside of her cheek, fighting the delighted smile that’s begging to be seen.

 

“So, I’ll see you tomorrow night then?” she asks.

 

He nods. “Yep. See you then.”

 

Now, she allows herself to smile. “I’ll bring the pastries.”

 

He smiles back, thanks her again for the drink, and then heads out.

 

~

 

Ben’s not quite sure how he’s ended up in this situation. He went out to get a coffee and somehow wound up agreeing to tutor Rey three nights a week—at his apartment, no less.

 

He did offer, of course, and he’s going to honor his offer. It’s just…it’s a big commitment, bigger than he’s used to. Plus, the thought of having someone in his apartment three time a week seems…invasive or maybe just intimate. No one ever comes over to his place, mostly because he doesn’t really have close friends. And he doesn’t really interact with anyone, outside of people on campus.

 

It all just seems a bit much for him.

 

Still, maybe this’ll be a good thing. He’s certain his parents or therapist would think so. It’s an opportunity for him to _do something with someone_ , even if it’s just tutoring an overly eager undergrad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soo, I posted a day early. I severely underestimated how busy this week was going to be, and I wasn't sure if I'd have time to post tomorrow or Wednesday, so I thought, "What the hell, I'll just post a little early." My goal is to post the next chapter Friday, but it could be a day before or after.
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter. We're finally getting underway with things!


	6. Chapter 6

Ben’s apartment complex, Hanna Estates, is in one of the nicer areas of town. Rey cannot help but feel incredibly poor as she drives her beat-up car to his place. She supposes she should be used to it by now, what with babysitting for B.B. at his mansion three times a week, but for some reason, this feels a little different.

 

She wonders how Ben, a graduate student, can afford to live in such a nice complex, though she’d never ask him. Rey may not have had the best upbringing, but she still knows it’s incredibly rude to talk about money.

           

She finds Ben’s apartment on the second floor, just as he said, and knocks on the door. Butterflies are fluttering around in her stomach, and she’s not sure if it’s excitement over actually getting to learn the material or nerves over Ben’s attitude towards their arrangement. He’d seemed completely fine yesterday as he left Niima's, despite the funny look he had in his eyes at first. She just hopes she’s not overstepping.

 

Rey decides she’ll see how tonight goes, and if it seems like Ben doesn’t like her here, she can just thank him for his time and they can forget about the arrangement all together.

 

She’s reminding herself of this when he opens the door. His eyes immediately fall to the brown paper bag in her hand that’s filled with the leftover fritters as well as a handful of muffins and cookies.

 

“Ah, my payment,” he says, as she offers him the bag.

 

“We only had two left over fritters, so I added all the other pastries we had left over too.”

 

He peaks into the bag and then nods, a small grin playing in his lips. “Great. Come on in.”

 

Ben’s apartment is spacious and clean but also _very_ plain. Everything is black, white, navy, or brown, and there’s no art or decoration anywhere. It seems like mostly dark colors and simplicity is his style though. Rey’s mostly only ever seen him in dark blue jeans and dark colored shirts and she’s never noticed him wearing a watch or anything around his neck. Tonight, he’s just in a pair of black athletic shorts and a navy hoodie.

 

She does notice, however, that there is a gigantic bookshelf against a wall. She never noticed what he was reading in the tutoring center and is curious as to what type of books he gravitates toward. As she walks over to it, Ben joins her. He’s watching her curiously.

 

“You must really love to read,” she comments.

 

~

 

For the longest time, Ben actually hated reading. It wasn’t until his uncle introduced him to horror novels, particularly Stephen King, that his interest was piqued. He tells her this, and she gives him an appraising look.

 

“You seem like a horror guy,” she tells him, before turning her attention back to the bookshelf and pulling a book off of it at random.

 

“What does that mean?” he asks, startled by her comment.

 

She shrugs as she flips through the book she’s chosen, which is _The Amityville Horror_ by Jay Anson.

 

“Doesn’t really mean anything,” she says. “You just seem like one.”

 

She puts the book back and then looks back up at him. “Ready to get started?”

 

“Sure,” he answers, as he leads her to his kitchen table.

           

They work diligently until a little before eleven, and, at that point, Rey seems ready to call it quits for the night. In their short time together, he’s already caught her up on all of her lectures since her first exam, explaining everything in a way her professor obviously has not.

 

Since it’s late, he offers to walk her to her car, and Rey happily accepts. As they walk, he compliments her on her ability to pick up the lessons quickly.

 

“Well, I actually love math,” she comments, as they walk down the stairs. “I’m an engineering major, and up until now, math has always come really easily to me. But for some reason, I can’t teach this stuff to myself, no matter how hard I try.”

 

“Well, I’m happy to help,” he replies. “Especially since you’re bringing me all those pastries.”

 

She laughs at his comment and then points to a small, tattered blue car. “That’s mine right there.”

 

“Okay,” he says, stopping on the final step of the staircase, while Rey steps off completely.

 

“Thanks again,” she tells him. “I really appreciate your help.”

 

“No problem. I’ll see you tomorrow night?”

 

“Yep!” she exclaims. Then, “Good night!”

 

“Good night,” he replies, watching her walk to her car.

 

She is opening the driver’s side door when a thought crosses his mind.

 

“Hey, Rey?”

 

She looks up and over at him. “Yeah?”

 

“Could you text me when you get home?”

 

She looks at him, confused.

 

“Just so I know you got home safe. It’s late, you know?” he says, clarifying.

 

“Oh. Sure. Except, I don’t think I have your number.”

 

He instantly feels like an idiot because, of course she’s right. They’ve never exchanged numbers.

 

“Oh right,” he says, walking over to her. “Let me give it to you real quick, then.”

 

When he’s done giving her his number, he tells her he hopes she gets home safely, and she thanks him yet again. She then gets into her car, and Ben watches until she drives away.

 

About a half an hour later, while Ben is getting ready for bed, his phone vibrates with a text message. He grabs it off the bathroom counter where he’s currently brushing his teeth and glances at the screen. It’s a text from an unsaved number and it reads, _Hi, it’s Rey. I made it home safely :)_

He smiles to himself as he types out a quick reply, _I’m glad. Thanks for the text._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I continue to revise this piece, I wish I had just a little more time on my hands to really get it EXACTLY how I want it, but I'm quickly running out of free time unfortunately. The great thing about this fic is that it really taught me a lot, and hopefully I can utilize that knowledge in the future.
> 
> The next chapter is really short, so my goal is to have it up by midnight on Monday.
> 
> Thank you to everyone who has left kudos and comments. It means the world. I hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	7. Chapter 7

Rey’s week has gone surprisingly well. She’s had no problems at either of her jobs, and she’s actually been learning a lot with the help of Ben’s tutoring.

 

Even though his aura can sometimes be slightly off-putting, Rey considers him to be an excellent teacher—so excellent, in fact, that she could see him doing it for a living. Come to think of it, Rey doesn’t actually know _what_ Ben wants to do once he finishes graduate school. They’ve never really talked about personal stuff—or at least, Ben hasn’t.

 

It’s late Saturday night, and after work Rey goes over to her friend Finn’s apartment. They haven’t had a chance to hang out in awhile, so they sit on Finn’s couch, sharing a bowl of popcorn and half-watching a movie.

 

She tells Finn about the tutoring arrangement and his reaction is not entirely surprising.

 

“Wait, _that’s_ the guy who used to sit in the corner with a grumpy expression on his face?”

 

Rey laughs, her mouth full of popcorn. “That’s him. Although, he’s not actually _that_ grumpy.”

 

“I don’t know, Rey,” Finn says, “He seemed pretty irritable to me whenever I was in there.”

 

“He’s really not. He’s just quiet and…serious. Plus, he’s a really great tutor.”

 

Finn sighs, shaking his head. “I just wish you would have gotten a chance to have Poe tutor you. He’s really great, and he’s not grumpy at all. And easy on the eyes.”

 

Rey rolls her eyes good-naturedly. “Yeah, but I’d probably have to fight off, like, ten other people to even get Poe’s attention. He’s obviously the stud of the math department.”

 

Finn throws his head back, cackling at Rey’s comment. When his laughter subsides, he concedes her point.

 

“He definitely is. I don’t know, maybe because he was only a first year graduate student when I had him, word hadn’t gotten around campus about how good-looking he was yet.”

 

Rey shrugs. “Well, all I can is that people are missing out on Ben.”

 

“Maybe,” Finn says, though Rey can tell he doesn’t really believe it.

 

Finn gets up from the couch, taking the now empty bowl of popcorn to the kitchen. Rey remains on the couch, her legs tucked under her, keeping one eye on what their watching and the other eye on Finn.

 

“You want something to drink?” he asks, now at the refrigerator.

 

“Just a water.”

 

Finn grabs two water bottles from the fridge, and as he walks back to the couch, Rey sees his expression light up, his eyebrows shoot up and a big smile spreads across his face.

 

“I forgot! My parents wanted me to invite you to stay with us over fall break!”

 

Rey tries her best to put a sincere smile on her face. “That’s sweet of them, Finn. I’ll think about it, and let you know.”

 

His brow furrows in confusion. “What’s there to think about? You’ve come with me the last two years, and we love having you.”

 

Thankfully, Rey has a legitimate reason that she can use as a cover for her more personal reason.

 

“I always have to take a few days off of work to go home with you, and I was thinking about staying here this time and maybe earning a little extra money.”

 

Finn hands her the water bottle and sits back down on the couch, his back against the armrest and his feet a couple inches away from Rey. His expression tells Rey he either doesn’t believe or understand her reason.

 

“It’s only a few days, though,” Finn says, playfully kicking her side. “And you need a few days off.”

 

“Yeah, but it never helps to have a few extra bucks, you know?” she answers, turning her body so that she can lightly kick him back.

 

Finn sighs, disappointed. “Alright, alright. Just think about it, okay?”

 

“I will,” she tells him.

 

Finn turns his attention back to the movie, and Rey pretends to do the same. Her head is in another place though, as she reflects on the real reason she doesn’t want to go home with Finn for fall break.

 

Finn’s family is _lovely._ They’ve always treated Rey like a daughter, and Rey will always be incredibly grateful for that. But the thing is—Finn’s family is a reminder of what Rey _could_ have had if only luck had been on her side.

 

Finn had been fortunate enough to wind up with an affectionate foster family, whereas Rey wound up with a verbally abusive foster father. And every time she’s with Finn’s family, she recalls how this easily could have been her, if not for the luck (or unluck) of the draw.

 

Finn and his family invite Rey over because they want her to feel like she has a family, but it always just makes her feel lonelier somehow. And Rey thinks she’d rather _actually_ be alone and make a little extra money.

 

She'll think about it, like Finn asked.  But deep down, Rey knows she's already made up her mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben will return in the next chapter. I hope to have it up by Thursday at midnight, but this week is going to be crazy, so it's possible it will be up on Friday.
> 
> Thank you for all the support. It's such a delight to know people are enjoying it.


	8. Chapter 8

Ben and Rey are currently working on Rey’s homework. Mainly, he’s just watching her, more supervising than actually teaching. She seems to have gotten the hang of what she's learning, and he can’t help but feel a little proud as he watches her confidently go from question to question, making almost no mistakes.

 

Suddenly, his phone begins vibrating against the kitchen table, breaking Rey from her concentration and Ben from his admiration.

 

He picks the phone up and glances down at the caller ID.

 

_It’s his mom._

“Sorry,” he mutters, getting up. “I’ll be right back.”

 

Rey nods before returning to her work, and Ben goes into the hallway to answer the call.

 

“Hello.”

 

“Hey, Ben,” his mother, Leia, greets. “I’m pleasantly surprised you actually answered.”

 

“What’s going on, Mom?” he asks, ignoring her gentle dig.

 

“I was just calling to see if you were coming home for your fall break. Your father and I would love to have you.”

 

Walking up and down the hallway, Ben stifles a groan and rolls his eyes. _He should have known this was why she was calling._

“I haven’t decided yet,” he tells her. It’s kind of the truth. He hasn’t _officially_ decided, but he’s 99% sure he’s not going home.

 

He knows she means well though, so he changes his somewhat irritated tone and asks, “How are you guys?”

 

“We’re great,” she replies, clearly perking up. “Your father and your Uncle Chewie are working on the _Falcon_ , and they really think this is going to be the year.”

 

“They always think that,” he says, allowing a little affection into his voice.

 

Racecar driving had always been his father’s hobby, and ten years ago when his father retired, he had been able to devote almost all of his time to the sport. Leia, being a good wife, humored her husband, but both she and Ben knew that his father’s old piece of junk car he lovingly called the _Millennium Falcon_ was probably not going to win a race any time soon.

 

Leia laughs at her son’s comment, and Ben can’t help but feel a little pleased that he brought a smile to his mother’s face. He really does love her; she’s just _exhausting._

“Is Dad there now?” Ben asks. He might as well kill two birds with one stone (or phone call).

 

“Yes, but he’s already gone to bed. He’s such an old man now.”

 

“Don’t let him hear you say that,” Ben replies.

 

His mom laughs again and then says, “I hope you’re taking care of yourself, Ben.”

 

"I am,” he assures her, trying not to let a groan seep into his voice.

 

“I hope so,” she says, sounding a little wistful.

 

“Listen, Mom, I actually have to go. I was…kind of in the middle of something.”

 

“Oh?”

           

He’s made the mistake of catching her interest and now knows it’s _definitely_ time to get off the phone before she begins bombarding him with questions.

 

“It’s nothing,” he says. “Tell Dad I said ‘hi,’ okay?”

 

“I will. I love you, Ben.”

 

“You too,” he sort of mumbles. “Goodbye.”

 

He taps the “END” button on his phone, lets out a long exhale, and makes his way back to Rey at the kitchen table.

 

~

 

“Sorry about that,” Ben says, as he takes his seat at the table once more.

 

Rey, who couldn’t help listening in on his phone call, puts her pencil down and looks up at Ben. “It’s okay. That was your mum?”

 

“Yeah. She wants me to come home for fall break.”

 

“Oh. And you don’t want to?”

 

Ben shakes his head. “I love my parents, don’t get me wrong. But they’re incredibly overbearing. We get along better when we’re not under the same roof, you know?”

 

Rey nods, though, of course, she doesn’t really know. She doesn’t know what it’s like to have loving, overbearing parents.

 

“Are you going home?” he asks her.

 

It’s more of personal question than he realizes, but for some reason, she finds she doesn’t mind answering it.

 

“I don’t really have anyone to go home to.”

 

His face falls. “Oh, I’m—I’m sorry.”

 

“No, no, it’s fine,” she says, shaking her head emphatically. “My friend offered to let me go home with him for the break. I’ve done it the past two years, but I always kind of feel like I’m third-wheeling with his family, if that makes sense, so I’m thinking about just staying in town.”

 

“Oh, okay,” he says, and she can tell he still feels bad for having asked the question, though he shouldn’t.

 

“Hey—“ she says, casually touching his arm, as the idea strikes her. “If we’re both in town, we should hang out.”

 

He’s clearly surprised by her suggestion, but he smiles and nods. “That could be fun.”

 

“It could be, right?” she says, reciprocating his smile and nod.

 

Ben nods for a second more and then his eyes move from hers and down to her sheet of homework. “How’s it coming?”

 

“Good. I just had one question about this problem, here,” she says, returning her own attention to her homework.

 

They work for about forty-five more minutes and then call it quits for the night. As he’s been doing every night after tutoring, he walks her to her car and reminds her to text him.

 

When Rey gets back to her dorm, she texts him, _Made it home safely._

He texts back immediately, _Great. Have a good night._

And as _she_ does every night after tutoring, she smiles as she reads his response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the last we will be hearing from (or actually, seeing) Leia. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a longer chapter!
> 
> Just a warning: There is a small bit of sexual harassment in this scene. I tried to come up with the least disturbing scenario (not at all saying that there are forms of sexual harassment that AREN'T disturbing because there aren't any) as I could, but just a warning, in case that sort of stuff if triggering.

Ben finds himself checking the clock on his apartment wall for the third time in under ten minutes. It’s 8:40, and Rey should be arriving in just under an hour.

 

It’s the night before Rey’s second exam, and Ben feels like she’s ready for it. They’ve been working hard all week, and tonight, they agreed to just do a light review of the main topics.

 

Ben is currently flipping through his old calculus textbook, which is three editions older than Rey’s book, trying to pick out a handful of good practice questions when his cell phone rings.

 

He grabs it off the coffee table and is mildly surprised to see Rey’s name on the caller ID. (In reality, he shouldn’t be surprised at all; not many people have his number and he doesn’t receive many phone calls.)

 

“Hello?” he answers, still skimming the textbook that sits in his lap.

 

“Ben, hey,” Rey says. _Her voice sounds strange_ , he thinks.

 

“What’s up?”

 

“I, uh, I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it tonight.”

 

Okay, something is _definitely_ wrong with her voice. It sounds like she’s upset, and the hairs on the back of Ben’s neck stand up in alarm.

 

“What’s going on? Are you okay?”

 

He hears her let out a heavy, shaky sigh. “I’m fine. Something just happened at the shop, and some stuff needs to be taken care of, so I won’t be able to get over to you.”

 

“Do you need something?” he asks, growing increasingly worried by her vague answer and still trembling voice.

 

“No—hold on a second.”

 

“Okay,” he says, standing from the couch and beginning to pace around his living room.

 

“Right this way, officers. I’ll be with you in one moment,” he hears Rey say.

 

 _Officers?_ What the hell is going on down there?

 

“Okay, sorry, I’m back,” Rey says. Her voice sounds marginally steadier than it did a minute ago. “Yeah, I probably won’t make it out of here until a little past ten, so we’ll have to skip tonight.”

 

“But your exam is tomorrow. Are you sure?”

 

“I don’t want to keep you up late.”

 

“You won’t,” he tells her. “I stay up late anyway.”

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Absolutely. If you want to still come over, you can. Just text me.”

 

There’s no answer for a second, but then Rey replies, “Okay. I’ll text you in a little bit.”

 

“Sounds good. Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

“Yes. I gotta go though.”

 

He starts to tell her to ‘take care,’ but she ends the call before he gets a chance.

 

Ben anxiously tosses his phone on the couch and continues pacing his apartment, his mind filled with nervous thoughts and his body pumped with a strangely high amount of adrenaline.

 

He has half a mind to drive down to where Rey works just to _make sure_ she’s okay. But she said she was, and he doesn’t want to add more stress to whatever is sure to already be a stressful situation for her. Plus, according to her phone call, police officers were there. They would contact someone for Rey if she needed help.

 

But then he remembers their conversation from a few nights ago. Rey doesn’t really have anyone. She has a few friends, of course, but she doesn’t have a _family_ , doesn’t have a mother or a father whose _job_ it is to be there for her. The thought breaks his heart, and he feels the renewed urgency to go down there and _be there_ for her.

 

In the span of fifteen minutes, he manages to talk himself in and out of the idea five times.

 

Thankfully, Rey texts him before he can make a final decision on what to do. She says she’ll be over just before 10:30.

 

Ben sighs in relief, feeling like he can finally relax, and collapses on his couch once more.

 

When Rey arrives at 10:26, Ben opens the door and immediately notices the mascara smudges under her red-rimmed eyes.

 

She offers him a small, watery smile and lifts up a brown paperbag. “I gave the police officers most of the pastries, so I only have one fritter and one oatmeal cookie. I hope that’s okay.”

 

“Of course, it’s okay,” he tells her, gesturing for her to come inside. “Do you want to talk about… whatever happened?”

 

“I think I would,” she answers, walking to the kitchen table.

 

Ben sits at his kitchen table beside her and listens as she tells him all about some prick who has been coming into Niima’s lately and making suggestive comments.

 

“He’d never said anything outright offensive, so we—all the girls working—just tried to ignore it.”

 

But apparently tonight was different. Tonight, the guy came into the shop, ordered his drink, and sat down at a table. Rey had been cleaning off a table nearby when she felt a hand grip tightly on her shoulder and someone mumble in her ear.

 

“Your jeans really compliment that ass of yours.” Rey breaks eye contact with Ben when she tells him this part.

 

He genuinely has to work on remaining calm after he hears this. What kind of impotent asshole enjoys scaring women like that? He clenches his fists under the table, his fingernails digging into the skin of his palms.

 

“I almost hit him,” Rey continues. “But I didn't want to risk getting fired, so I didn’t. Instead, I told him to leave.”

 

But apparently Rey telling the man to leave did not bode well with him. Rey goes on to describe how the man then gripped her arm and told her that she couldn’t talk to him that way.

 

Ben sees Rey’s eyes begin to water again, and he wishes he had a tissue within reaching distance to offer her.

 

“So, I pulled my arm away from him and ran to my manager to tell her what happened. She told me to go to the back and call the police.”

 

“And then you called me?” Ben asks.

 

Rey nods, smiling at him. “Yeah. Then the cops got there, and of course, the creep had already left at that point, so they took our stories, but that’s all they could do.”

 

“That’s it?” Ben asks incredulously.

 

“That’s it,” she says. “And they told us if he ever came back to call them immediately. But they took my statement, so at least it’s on record. That’s why I was late.”

 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” Ben tells her. He wants to say more, but he’s not sure what else he _could_ say.

 

“I mean, this wasn’t my first experience of something like that that’s happened,” she replies. “But this was definitely the worst one.”

 

Ben just looks at her, dumbfounded by the amount of harassment Rey, and other girls, have to go through. He may be a lot of not-so-great things, but a predator is certainly not one of them.

 

“Anyway,” Rey says, and Ben can see her practically shaking off the story, “You ready to get started?”

 

Her focus and dedication shake Ben out of his own thoughts as well. “Yeah, let’s get to work.”

 

~

 

By the time they finish up with the exam review, Rey is constantly yawning and her eyelids feel like sandbags. She’s both mentally and physically exhausted and cannot wait to get into her bed and _sleep._

As she closes her textbook and slips it into her backpack, she catches Ben looking at her, an inscrutable expression on his face.

 

“What?” she questions, quirking an eyebrow.

 

“You shouldn’t drive home tonight. You can barely keep your eyes open.”

 

“Are you offering to drive me home?”

 

His cheeks tint pink and he breaks eye contact with her, choosing instead to look at something behind her. “Actually, I was going to offer to let you stay over.”

 

“Oh,” she says, surprised but too tired to respond with anything of substance.

 

“I mean, I can drive you home if you’d like,” he says, backtracking for a second. “But then you’d have to come get your car tomorrow. You can take my bed, and I’ll take the couch. And actually, I have an unopened toothbrush as well that you can use. But I don’t want you to feel obligated. Or uncomfortable.”

 

He’s rambling now, and Rey finds it kind of endearing. He’s clearly nervous about having suggested the idea, but he shouldn’t be.

 

Though she doesn’t know him well, Rey trusts Ben. It’s an instinctual feeling that she can’t quite explain, but she knows he wouldn’t do anything like that other guy tonight tried.

 

“Okay,” she agrees, before a yawn overtakes her.

 

He seems relieved and maybe even a little surprised by her affirmative response, and she laughs.

 

“What?” he asks cautiously.

 

“You didn’t think I’d accept your offer?”

 

He looks at her seriously. “I would have understood if you didn’t.”

 

“You’re not all that scary now that I’ve gotten to know you,” she says, smirking at him.

 

He huffs out a short laugh and runs a hand through his hair. “Thanks, I guess.”

 

“You’re welcome. One thing though.”

 

“What?”

 

“I’ll take the couch. You sleep in your bed.”

 

Ben frowns slightly. “I really don’t mind taking the couch.”

 

“I know. But I don’t mind taking the couch. You’re already being generous by letting me stay over.”

 

“If you sure…”

 

Rey smiles. “I’m sure.”

 

Ben gets her set up with a pillow and two blankets. He also loans her a pair of his sweatpants so that she doesn’t have to sleep in her skinny jeans. They’re far too long on her, so she rolls up the waistband a few times and that makes them adequate enough for one night of wearing.

 

She walks into his bathroom while he’s brushing his teeth, and he digs in a drawer and hands her the unopened toothbrush he spoke of. She quickly opens it, and then he passes her the toothpaste.

 

There’s something strangely… _intimate_ about the two of them standing side by side in Ben’s bathroom, staring into the mirror in their pajamas and brushing their teeth. She catches his eye in the mirror and he once again has that unreadable expression on his face. Rey can’t help wonder if he finds this moment as weirdly intimate as she does.

 

When they’re done brushing their teeth, Ben bids her goodnight.

 

“Don’t be afraid to wake me if you need anything,” he tells her, leaning against the doorframe of his bedroom.

 

“I won’t. Thank you. This was really kind of you.”

 

“It’s no problem,” he shrugs. “Sleep well.”

 

“You too. Goodnight.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I started another Reylo fic called "Through the Years." It'll be a much shorter fic (probably ten chapters), but I posted the first chapter Friday. If you're a fan of this piece, you should go check it out!
> 
> As always, thanks for the support :)


	10. Chapter 10

When Rey wakes up in the morning, it’s still mostly dark outside. Still lying on the couch, she reaches over to the coffee table and grabs her phone. It’s 6:40. She’s woken up twenty minutes before her alarm, and to her, twenty minutes it too short a period of time to fall back asleep.

 

Rey stands up and stretches her arms above her head. Considering she slept on a couch last night and only got about six hours of sleep, she feels surprisingly well rested.

 

She’s not sure what time Ben plans on getting up, but she decides she’ll leave before he wakes up. She always feels a little gross when she doesn’t sleep in her own bed, plus she thinks she might smell a little and all she can think about is taking a hot shower. Usually she showers before bed, so she’s particularly conscious of how grimy she might be right now.

 

After neatly folding the blankets Ben loaned her and stacking them on his couch, she pulls a sheet of paper from her notebook and writes him a quick note.

 

_Ben,_

_I didn’t want to wake you before you left, so I just wanted to thank you for letting me stay the night (your couch is surprisingly comfortable!), and, of course, for all your help tutoring.   Have a good day! I’m sure we’ll talk soon._

_Rey_

She leaves the note on the counter and then heads to his bathroom to quickly relieve herself and change back into her jeans. While in there, she half-considers searching for Ben’s deodorant and applying a thin layer under her arms, but she knows that’s really uncouth, and she's not quite that desperate.

 

She’s practically day-dreaming about the cleansing shower she’ll take, when she exits the bathroom—at the exact same moment Ben, who is wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, walks out of his room.

 

They stand face-to-face and she’s not sure who looks more shocked. She is flabbergasted by his near naked appearance—and by the fact that he looks really damn good. His black hair is sticking out on all sides in an attractively disheveled way, and his dark eyes have that innocent, sleepy look in them—at least they did for a second before he realized she was coming out of his bathroom. But neither his hair nor his eyes compare to his physique. Ben’s shoulders are broad and he’s got _abs. Really, really nice abs._ Rey doesn’t even dare look lower than his abdomen. He’s only in boxers and it’s the morning—not always a great combination.

 

Ben looks pretty stunned too, though she can’t exactly imagine why. She looks pretty much the same as she did last night, though maybe a little greasier.

 

Rey’s sure she must be gaping at him because he ducks his head and clears his throat awkwardly.

 

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he mutters. “I completely forgot you were here.”

 

“You did?” she says, working to keep her eyes on his face and not his impressive body.

 

“Yeah. My mind is crap first thing in the morning.”

 

“Ah.”

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to—“

 

“It’s fine,” she says, putting up a hand to stop him from speaking.

 

“Let me just put on a shirt and some pants,” he says, just short of grimacing.

 

“It’s fine,” she repeats. “I was actually about to head out.”

 

“Oh.” He looks a little disappointed.

 

“But I’ll wait until you...” Her hand waves up and down his upper body, her action finishing her sentence for her.

 

“Okay.”

 

Rey sits down on the couch and waits for Ben to return, before recalling the note she just wrote. She gets up and walks over the counter to discard the note when Ben walks in, dressed in a t-shirt and athletic shorts.

 

“Sorry about that,” he says. His eyes go to the piece of paper in her hand. “What’s that?”

 

“Oh, I wrote a note, thanking you for the tutoring and for letting me crash on the couch.”

 

“Was it comfortable?” he asks.

 

“Very,” she tells him, smiling. “Here, I actually wrote that on the note.”

 

She hands him the note and he reads it over. His lips quirk up in a small smile. To Rey’s surprise, when he’s done, he doesn’t hand it back to her or toss it in the garbage; instead, he folds it neatly and sticks it in his pocket.

 

“I really am sorry about earlier,” he reiterates, one hand on the kitchen counter. “I’m basically a zombie before I’ve had my coffee.”

 

“It’s really okay,” she tells him. Then, as a joke, she adds, “Would you like me to make you a half-sweet, non-fat caramel macchiato?”

 

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “You remembered my order?”

 

“It’s a pretty specific order,” she tells him, enjoying the startled look on his face.

 

“It is,” he concedes, walking past her to the coffee pot. “But no, you definitely don’t have to make me one. Did you want a cup though?”

 

“I would, but I really need to get home and shower. I’m pretty sure I smell awful right now.”

 

He shakes his head, bemused, and not looking away from the coffee pot. “You don’t. You smell…like you always smell.”

 

“I do? And how’s that?”

 

Rey was not aware that she had a _scent_ , and even if she was, it’s a peculiar thing to say to a person.

 

Ben shrugs his shoulders and spares her a glance. “I don’t know how to describe it. But it’s not ‘awful.’”

 

“Oh.”

 

“So, you don't want a cup then?”

 

She pauses for a moment and then nods. “Okay, I’ll have a one real quick.”

 

~

 

Ben quickly makes coffee, pours some in two mugs, and then points her in the direction of the cream and sugar.

 

“You’re good at this,” she tells him. “You should come work with me.”

 

He chuckles at her joke. There doesn’t seem to be any residual awkwardness over what happened about ten minutes ago in the hallway, which he’s quite relieved about.

 

He still feels a little guilty about putting her in a position of seeing him like that, but she doesn’t seem concerned about it, so he doesn’t apologize again. Instead, he invites her to sit down at the kitchen table, and they talk while enjoying their coffee.

 

Rey, he observes, is definitely a morning person. She’s incredibly chipper and talkative, while Ben is absolutely not. In fact, he’s usually annoyed by morning people, but he’s not bothered by Rey at all. She’s not trying to pry conversation out of him; rather, she tells him about her roommate and her classes, and he finds himself slipping into conversation naturally.

 

When Rey leaves about thirty minutes later, Ben takes the blankets he loaned Rey from the couch and goes to put them in the washing machine. For some inexplicable reason, as he walks to the utility closet, he puts the blankets up to his nose and inhales coffee and citrusy shampoo.

 

 _No, Rey definitely doesn’t smell_ , he thinks, as he puts the blankets in the machine. Then, after realizing what he’d just done, he shakes his head, embarrassed.

 

_Get it together, Ben. Get it together._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We had to get at least one moment of shirtless Ben Solo, right? ;)
> 
> Next chapter will be up either Sunday or Monday! Thanks for reading!!


	11. Chapter 11

The next evening, Saturday, Ben gets drinks with one of his only friends, a woman named Phasma.

 

Phasma had been a year ahead of him in their doctorate program, so she graduated the previous spring and now works as a statistics professor at a university a few states over.

 

Back when Phasma was still in school, she and Ben had grown friendly. Eventually, he worked up the nerve to ask her to hang out. They had gone to their university’s basketball game (her suggestion, not his) and had a good enough time that when Ben suggested they hang out again, Phasma agreed. The next time they hung out, she and Ben went out to a bar. By the end of the night, Ben decided he was going to take the leap and tell Phasma that he was interested in taking her out on a proper date.

 

It wasn’t like Ben felt this blazing connection with Phasma, but he did enjoy her company, and she seemed to enjoy his, as well. He thought maybe things would eventually evolve into romance because he didn’t really know what a real romance entailed.

 

But, at the end of the night, when he had suggested to Phasma that she let him take her to dinner one night, Phasma had given him a baffled look.

 

“You mean, like a _date_?”

 

Ben had awkwardly stuffed his hands in his jean pockets, cleared his throat, and said, “Yeah, like a date.”

 

Phasma’s face had grown weirdly sympathetic, and Ben just _knew_ at that point that she was going to turn him down.

 

“Ben,” she had said, putting an arm on his shoulder. “I don’t play for your team.”

 

Ben had blinked, confused. “What?”

 

Phasma had laughed then, though not unkindly. “I’m not interested in men, Ben. I like women.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“I mean, if I were straight, I’d totally take you up on your date offer. You’re cute and fun to hang out with. But I’m going to have to pass. Sorry, pal.”

 

After the initial let down of that moment, Ben and Phasma had become proper friends. It was nice to hang out with a girl without the pressure of worrying whether or not one of them had feelings for the other. But then Phasma had graduated, and Ben was once again stuck by himself.

 

But now she was back in town for the weekend, and Ben had seized the opportunity to hang out.

 

“So, I’ve bored you for an hour, catching you up on my life,” Phasma says, as her finger twirls around the rim of cocktail glass. “I want to hear about yours.”

 

Ben shrugs, before taking a swig of his IPA. “There’s not much to hear about. You remember Poe Dameron, that cocky first year grad student?”

 

Phasma nods.

 

“He’s the worst. The tutoring center has gone to shit, thanks to him.”

 

“Hadn’t it already gone to shit?” Phasma asks, laughing.

 

“It’s worse now, if you can believe it. All these undergrads come in just to swoon over him. It got so bad, I wound up offering to tutor this one student privately.”

 

“Oh, yeah?” Phasma says. “How’s that going?”

 

“Pretty well, actually. She’s quite smart.”

 

“ _She_ , huh?” Mischief is brewing in Phasma’s eyes as she says it.

 

Ben plays coy, but the thing is…he kind of wanted to talk to Phasma—to _someone_ —about this. All of these bizarre feelings about Rey have been swirling around in his head lately, and he doesn’t quite know how to process them.

 

There’s just something so charming about her. He’s drawn to her and to her company in a way that’s new for him, in a way he’s never really felt about anyone else. There’s just so much about Rey that he likes—she’s kind, intelligent, and vivacious in a way that’s approachable and not particularly intimidating. He really enjoys being in her company, even though most of the time they’re just studying, and throughout the past few weeks, he’s found himself counting down the time until she’s set to come over.

 

These feelings have been slowly overwhelming him, but it all came to a head this past Thursday. Ben was surprised by the sheer amount of feeling he had felt that wasn’t _just_ unadulterated anger when Rey had shared her story with him; the only feeling he’d ever felt to such a degree was rage. But when Rey came over, all teary eyed and hurt, Ben’s first emotion was concern—an _abundance_ of concern—followed by a strong want to wrap his arms around her in a comforting hug. (He didn’t hug her, obviously, but he had wanted to.) The anger _did_ come, of course, when Rey told him exactly what had happened. The interesting thing about the anger, though, was that it didn’t overtake his feelings of concern for Rey. They coincided, and if anything, the concern had remained in the forefront of his mind. Ben couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so strongly about another person’s wellbeing.

 

And then, the next morning, seeing her check him out—because he’s certain that’s what she was doing—it was a pleasant surprise, to say the least. He hadn’t meant to fluster her and he felt bad about possibly making her uncomfortable, but there was something… _nice_ about Rey finding him physically attractive because maybe that meant she wasn’t far off from finding the rest of him attractive.

 

“Yeah, she’s a she,” Ben said, biting his cheek to stop from smiling.

 

“And what’s this _she_ like?”

 

“Well, her name is Rey. She’s a junior engineering major, and I’m helping her with her calculus class.”

 

“And that’s all your doing?” she questioned, raising an eyebrow.

 

Ben’s face burned at the implication. “Yes. I mean, we talk sometimes before and after, but we haven’t actually hung out.”

 

“Oh,” Phasma says, clearly disappointed.

 

“But, she did suggest we do something over fall break since we’ll both still be here.”

 

“And you’re interested in doing that?”

 

Ben nods, trying to remain nonchalant, though he’s certain that by this point Phasma sees through him. “I am, yes.”

 

“You like her,” Phasma decides, before downing the rest of her drink and thumping her empty glass back down on the table.

 

“I think I do,” he admits quietly. It’s the first time he’s said it out loud, and it simultaneously feels like a relief and a brand new burden.

 

“Then you should take her up on her offer to hang out. And then if that goes well, maybe ask her out on a real date.”

 

Ben exhales a nervous breath through his nose. “I could do that, I think.”

 

Phasma nods, clearly pleased with herself. “Good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey will return in the next chapter, which I hope to post on Thursday at midnight. Prepare yourselves because things are beginning to shift!
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	12. Chapter 12

It’s Wednesday, the last day of class before fall break. Rey’s just gotten out of her calculus class, where the professor returned their exams. She got an 89 and is _ecstatic_.

 

When she walks out the lecture hall, she pulls her phone out of her bag and texts Ben about her exam grade. He responds immediately, congratulating her, even adding the applauding hands emoji to his message. With his encouraging response in mind, she decides to ask him if he wants to go get a celebratory drink tonight.

 

She had mentioned last week that they should hang out if they were both in town for fall break, and Ben had seemed keen on the idea at the time, much to Rey’s satisfaction. She likes Ben—is fascinated by him, even. She hasn’t really thought about it at length yet, but she thinks she might even be nursing a small crush on him. She’s certainly attracted to him—seeing him half-naked last Friday morning confirmed that. But regardless of any possibly amorous feelings, she wants to hang out with him and hopefully get to know him better. And what better opportunity to hang out, she thinks, than to have a few drinks to celebrate her grade and thank him for his part in all of it.

 

He doesn’t immediately text her back after she suggests they go out for drinks, much to her chagrin. As she walks across campus, back to her dorm, she finds herself gripping her phone and anxiously checking it every few seconds.

 

By the time she makes it back to her room, Ben still hasn’t responded. A small bubble of anxiety begins fizzling in her gut, and she decides to go for a quick jog around campus to try to get her mind off of the lack of response. After changing into something more exercise-appropriate, she checks her phone one last time, sighs when she sees there’s still no response, and then heads back out her door.

 

It’s mid-October, and the weather has finally gone from comfortably warm to chilly. Rey, having grown up in a particularly hot climate, relishes the colder weather. Other than not having to worry about constantly sweating, Rey’s favorite thing about the drop in temperature is the change in wardrobe. Every fall, she looks forward to breaking out her sweaters and boots, and as she runs, she starts putting together possible outfit options for tonight.  If Ben ever decides to text her back, that is.

 

Somehow ruminating on cute clothing options for her possible hang out with Ben doesn’t do anything to calm the anxiety; it actually makes it worse. And when she finally returns to her dorm, she’s almost nauseated from the amount of anxiety that she worked up instead of worked off. She’s never actually been this nervous about asking someone to just _hang out_. He had seemed interested when she’d suggested the idea. And it’s not like she had asked him on a date, for goodness’ sake. So really, there’s no reason he shouldn’t be texting her back, and there’s _really_ no reason she should be nervous about why he hasn’t texted her back.

 

~

 

Ben’s heart excitedly leaps in his chest when Rey texts him, asking him if he wants to get a drink tonight. He’s about to respond with an enthusiastic ‘yes!’ when his mother calls. She’s disappointed that he’s not coming in for fall break, so Ben has to calm her down and remind her that she’ll see him in a couple of weeks.

 

Finally almost an hour later, he manages to get off the phone and text Rey back. She texts back instantly and suggests a bar close to campus. He asks her if she’d like him to pick her up, but she tells him she’s got to stop by her dorm after getting off from babysitting, so she’ll just walk. Naturally, he’s a little disappointed by this, but it doesn’t really make a dent on his excitement for the night.

 

At 9:30 sharp, Ben arrives at the bar, orders a beer, and finds a table in the corner. He sends a text to Rey, letting her know he’s arrived, and she says she’s less than five minutes away.

 

Looking around the bar, Ben recalls he hasn’t been to this place since undergrad. His junior year, he’d gone on one of his few dates here and it had ended disastrously.  The girl had left him for a better-looking, less awkward guy mid-way through their date.  He instantly dismisses the memory from his mind, not wanting it to implant in his head and hang over him tonight. This night is important…well, it _could_ be important.

 

He spots Rey the moment she walks into the bar, and when she sees him, she waves and smiles her million-watt, toothy smile. She’s wearing a floral print mini-dress with a maroon knit cardigan over it, brown tights and boots, and a large, knit gray scarf. Her hair is also down, which he’s never seen before. She looks _really nice._

 

Ben stands as she reaches the table. _Should they hug?_ he wonders. They’ve never done that before, but it wouldn't be weird, would it?  But before he can decide if he should, Rey opens her arms and pulls him into a friendly embrace.

 

“I’m glad we could do this,” she tells him, as they pull apart. “Oh, and we match!”

 

It’s true; they do match. Ben’s wearing his usual dark jeans and a maroon sweater that matches Rey’s cardigan.

 

“We do,” he says, before glancing over at the bar. “What do you want to drink?”

 

“Oh no, I’m treating you tonight! You’re the reason I did so well on my exam.”

 

“You can get the next drink. I’ll get your first one.”

 

“Alright,” she concedes, still smiling that striking smile. “I’ll have a whiskey sour, then.”

 

“Great. I’ll be back in a second.”

 

Ben quickly orders her drink and returns to the table. He sits across from her and watches as she takes the first sip of her drink.

 

“Oh, I love this,” she comments, before offering him her glass. “You want a sip?”

 

His face scrunches up. “I’m not a fan of whiskey sours. If I’m going to drink whiskey, I’m going to drink it straight.”

 

Rey’s eyebrows rise, impressed. “I don’t think I can drink any hard liquor straight. You’re a brave man, Ben.”

 

Ducking his head a little, Ben shrugs off her compliment. “It’s just about personal taste.”

 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she says.

 

“Oh, by the way, I’m sorry it took me a little while to get back to you earlier. My mom called, and I…had to deal with that.”

 

Rey sort of smiles to herself and looks down at her drink. “It’s no big deal.”

 

“Okay, good. Yeah, she was disappointed that I decided not to come home.”

           

“Yeah, Finn was pretty disappointed that I didn’t go back home with him,” Rey comments.

 

“Finn’s your friend?” Ben asks, a small dose of jealousy twisting in his gut.

 

“Yeah, he’s the one I always go home with for fall break. But I’m glad I stuck around here,” she answers, much to his relief. “I’m looking forward to some alone time. And, of course, I was excited to hang out with you.”

 

Her eyes are bright and kind when she says this, and Ben’s glad it’s dark in the bar because he fears his face may be reddening. Lord knows he’s fighting back the giant smile that’s currently begging to be seen.

 

“Yeah, I’m pretty happy with my decision not to go home too,” Ben says, before taking a quick swig of his drink. “They’re coming in town for alumni week anyway, so I’ll see them soon enough.”

 

“Oh, they’re alums?” Rey asks. She props her elbows on the table, leaning forward toward Ben.

 

It suddenly strikes Ben that Rey isn’t aware of who his parents are. She very well may be one of the few people he knows on campus that doesn’t, and he supposes it’s time to let the proverbial cat out of the proverbial bag.

 

 “You know the performing arts center? The one they re-named the Organa-Solo Theater last year?”

 

Rey nods.

 

“It’s named after my parents,” Ben says, his voice low.

 

It’s not something he ever brags about. If anything, it’s a bit embarrassing.

 

“Your last name is _Solo?_ Your parents are Leia Organa and Han Solo?”

 

Ben takes a prolonged sip of his beer before answering. “Yep.”

 

Her mouth is in the shape of a perfect ‘O,’ and as much as Ben hates telling people who his parents are because it always changes their perception of him, he finds Rey’s reaction amusing.

 

“So, wait—that would make Luke Skywalker your uncle!”

 

Ben chuckles. People always get excited when they hear his mother is the former senator Leia Organa and his father is the wily former businessman and current racecar enthusiast Han Solo. No one really cares that his elusive uncle is the famous mathematician Luke Skywalker. Not even the people in the math department really care. Luke hasn’t been relevant in the mathematics community in almost twenty years, instead choosing to live in relative isolation in a small cabin in the woods. But Rey seems to care, and it’s kind of cute—maybe even really cute).

 

 _She really does love math_ , he thinks, amused.

 

“Yeah, he’s my uncle,” Ben confirms.

 

“His Number Theory is incredible. I’ve read his writings in a couple of academic journals. He’s a genius!”

 

“Yeah, he is. Neither of my parents are math people, so I probably got my math smarts from him.”

 

“Are you calling yourself a genius?” she asks, cocking her head and smirking.

 

His face heats up again and he shakes his head. “No, definitely not.”

 

“Ben, I’m joking,” Rey says, resting her hand on his forearm, which relaxes on the table between them.

 

It’s a deliberate, perhaps even affectionate, touch, and Ben looks down at it in surprise. When he looks back up, he sees Rey’s now the one blushing, and she quickly removes her hand.

 

~

 

A little while later, they stumble onto the topic of Rey's family. Usually, this conversation makes her self-conscious, but Rey finds she doesn’t really mind talking about it with Ben, especially after he shared so much about his own family. She’s already alluded to the fact that she doesn’t really have ‘people,’ but she expands on the situation for him.

 

“I was taken away from my parents when I was really young. They never hurt me exactly, but they were neglectful. Basically, low-life drunks, you know? I got put in a group home, and that’s where I met my friend Finn. But eventually, we got separated and put in different foster homes. Finn went to a really nice family who wound up adopting him.”

 

“And you?” Ben asks, listening intently.

 

“I went to a not nice family—actually, it wasn’t even a family. It was just me and my foster father. He never put a finger on me, but he was verbally abusive and cruel. I worked really hard to get good grades to ensure I’d get a scholarship to college. Thankfully, I did, and I haven’t looked back since.”

 

“Sounds like you were given lemons and made lemonade,” Ben comments, as he finishes up his beer.

 

Rey looks at him curiously, and he rolls his eyes.

 

“Sorry. It’s my mom’s favorite expression. Sometimes it just slips out.”

 

She chuckles and then finishes her own drink. She’s about to offer to get his second beer, but before she gets a chance, Ben speaks again.

           

“Another whiskey sour?” he asks, standing and pointing to her empty glass.

 

“I thought I was getting the next round,” she says.

 

Ben shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

 

She smiles at his gesture before nodding. “Then, yes, another whiskey sour.”

 

When he gets back, conversations turn to lighter topics. She drinks her second drink particularly fast, and now with two drinks swimming in her system, Rey is significantly buzzed. She’s still listening to what Ben says and she’s still contributing to the conversation, but she finds her mind drifting off more and more.

 

Though it’s chilly outside, it’s a little toasty in the bar, and Ben’s pushed up the sleeves of his sweater so that Rey can see his forearms. She’s not sure why she’s admiring them so much, but she is. They look _strong_ , and she wants to rest her hand on top of one like she impulsively did earlier. More attractive than his forearms, though, are Ben’s lips. Her eyes keep leaving his and traveling downward to stare at his plush lips, and when the errant thought crosses her mind that his lips might be really nice to kiss, Rey doesn’t stop herself from dwelling on it for a few moments. If she were sober, perhaps the thought would surprise her—or maybe she’d lie to herself and _pretend_ to be surprised by the thought—but being tipsy like she is now, Rey is honest enough with herself to recognize that she’d really like to kiss Ben.

 

~

 

Around midnight, the bar starts to empty out. While they’ve had only two drinks each, Ben is completely sober, and Rey is…well, _not._ She’s not fully drunk, but Ben noticed she went from sober to buzzed surprisingly fast, so before they leave the bar, he asks the bartender for a cup of ice water for her.

 

“Thanks,” she says, accepting the cup from him and leans back against the bar, while Ben waits for the bartender to close his tab. On her face is a content, if not a little bleary, expression.

 

She walked here tonight, and Ben knows she’s in no position to walk back to her dorm alone tonight. He offers to drive her home, and she happily accepts.

 

Ben ushers her to his car, and when she sees it, her eyes get almost comically big.

 

“Wow,” she breathes, as he opens the passenger’s side door for her and she slides in. “You really are a Solo.”

 

She’s saying this because his car is a sleek black sports car. It was a graduation present from his parents, and one of the few gifts that was exactly what he wanted. It was also incredibly expensive.

 

Closing the door for her, he chuckles at her comment and makes his way around the driver’s side. Once inside the car, he observes Rey for a moment. She’s looking all around the car, lightly running her fingers across the smooth dashboard. His mind wanders to what it might be like if she were running her fingers across his jaw or through his hair, and he immediately shakes away that thought. Now is not the time to be thinking about that.

 

The drive back to her dorm is quiet but comfortable. They talk occasionally, but Ben can tell the drowsiness is really starting to set in on Rey, so mostly they keep silent. Occasionally, he sneaks glances over at her, watching her happily look out the window. Although, one time he looks over at her, and he finds she’s looking right back at him.

 

There’s an expression in her eyes, one that he’s pretty sure he’s caught short glimpses of a few times tonight. It’s a curious look of fascination mixed with what Ben thinks might be desire _._ She offers him a small smile that makes his heart jump, and he quickly returns her smile before turning his attention back to the road.

 

When they pull up to her dorm, Ben parks the car and walks her up the flight of stairs to her room. He’s walking a few steps behind her, which winds up being a good thing because she loses her footing on one of the steps and stumbles backward. Ben is able to steady her, his hands pressing against her back and pushing her upright again.

 

"Thanks,” she says, her voice breathy. She doesn’t look back at him.

 

“No problem,” Ben replies, reluctantly removing his hands from her back now that she’s stable again.

 

They stand outside her door, and Ben watches as she digs through her bag for her keys. Once she finds them, she looks back up at him, that same small smile on her face that she had in the car.

 

He’s overwhelmed with the desire to kiss Rey, though, to be honest that desire had been sneaking up on him all night. And with the way she’s looking at him, Ben thinks she might not be opposed to the idea. But Ben doesn’t want to risk kissing her if that’s not what she wants; with all of his previous experience, he needs to be _sure_. Then there’s the fact that she’s practically drunk, and the last thing he wants to do is take advantage of her, even if it is just a quick kiss. And what if she doesn’t even remember it?

 

So, no, he’s not going to kiss her tonight. Instead, he gives her a quick hug and wishes her a goodnight. And as he’s walking away from her room and towards the stairs, she’s calls out his name.

 

Ben turns around. “Yeah?”

 

“Can you text me when you get home so that I know you got there safely?”

 

Ben doesn’t even attempt to hide the huge smile spreading across his face. “Yeah, I can do that.”

 

“Thanks,” she says, reciprocating his grin.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look! A properly long chapter! I hope you enjoyed Rey and Ben's hang out/not date. The next chapter will likely be up Monday at midnight.
> 
> As always, thanks for the comments and kudos. This community really is so kind and welcoming :)


	13. Chapter 13

Because Rey and Ben had previously agreed to take the fall break off from tutoring, Rey hasn’t seen or spoken to Ben since they hung out the previous Wednesday.

 

It’s Monday now and when Rey gets to Ben’s apartment, she’s pretty certain she senses a change in the atmosphere. They look at each other more and sit closer together, and at one point when Ben catches a mistake that Rey has made, he takes her hand, with the pencil still in between her fingers, and helps her correct it. She can feel his breath against the side of her neck as he leans in to help her make the correction, and she wonders if he just feels more comfortable with her or if he’s doing it on purpose. Either way, it’s incredibly distracting, but in a way that she doesn’t at all mind.

 

Instead of leaving when they finish up their work, Rey sticks around for a little while. They sit on opposite sides of Ben’s couch, each munching on apple fritters that Rey brought over.

 

Rey asks Ben about the rest of his break, and he admits that he spent most of it in his apartment, writing his dissertation.

 

“I went a little stir crazy at the end,” Ben says, chuckling to himself.

 

“Oh, yeah?” she asks, with a mouth full of pastry.

 

“Yeah, I nearly threw my laptop across the room in frustration. Fortunately, I had enough foresight to realize that that might not be the best way to get rid of my irritation.”

 

Rey grins. “After my first calculus class, I _did_ throw my textbook across my dorm. Nearly scared my roommate half to death.”

 

“No more throwing textbooks around as of lately, I hope?”

 

Rey shakes her head, and adjusts her position on the couch so that she’s sitting on her feet. “Nope, not since you’ve been tutoring me. You should be teaching that class. You’re ten times the professor Snoke is.”

 

Ben seems to deflects the compliment, instead choosing to comment on her professor. “Yeah, Snoke is known by everyone for being the worst professor in the department. Tenure’s the only thing keeping him around.”

 

“Well, all I can say is I’m lucky to have come across you,” Rey continues, doing her best to get him to accept her sincere compliment.

 

She had decided last week after they hung out that she did, in fact, have a crush on Ben. And so she’s doing her best to gently convey her interest to him, though she’s decided that’s all she’ll do. If someone is going to make a move, it’ll have to be Ben. Rey made what she considered the first move, by inviting him to hang out outside of tutoring. No, it wasn’t a date, but over the course of the evening, Rey felt like the energy between them had changed enough for it to perhaps be considered more than just a casual hang out. So now it is Ben’s turn. She needs to know that he reciprocates interest.

 

Ben tilts his head down at her compliment and humbly rolls his eyes. “Well, you’re a good student.”

 

Conversation turns to Ben’s goals after he finishes graduate school. Ben tells her how he wants to get a job as a statistician in a city where nobody knows who he is.  Rey’s disappointed that Ben doesn’t want to teach, and she tells him as much.

 

He laughs her off, but then says, “Well, next year after I’ve graduated, if you ever find yourself in need of a tutor again, you’re more than welcome to video-call me. I’ll be happy to help.”

 

Rey doesn't even bother fighting against the gigantic smile that spreads across her face.

~

 

As they do at the end of every night, Ben walks Rey down to her car. This time, however, he doesn’t stay at the bottom of the staircase and instead chooses to walk all the way to her car with her. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it until he’s standing beside her at the driver’s side door.

 

She’s smiling up at him again, and the look in her eyes reminds him of when he walked her back to her dorm, except this time there’s no additional bleariness. She’s completely sober and looking up at him in a way that’s just short of expectantly.

 

He wants to kiss her. He _really_ wants to kiss her. But it’s been so long since he’s kissed someone, and he somehow manages to talk himself out of it. He’s almost positive that she wants him to, but he _has to be certain._ Rejection, especially from Rey after he's let her in, would hurt too much, and he’s already got way too much experience with it.

 

“Well,” Rey says, breaking him out of his thoughts. _Is it just him or does she sound disappointed?_   “Good night. I’ll text you when I get home.”

 

“Thank you. Good night,” Ben says, taking a step back from her car. “Get home safe.”

 

“I will,” she replies, getting into her car and shutting the door.

 

With a mixture of relief and regret, Ben watches her car exit the parking lot and drive away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're a little less than half way through. I know this was a short chapter, but I think it's a sweet one with some important little moments in there. If you've been following along, you could probably tell that my updating schedule has mostly been Monday and Thursday at midnight. With class starting this week, I anticipate that changing, though only slightly. I'll likely be posting on Monday and Thursday afternoons from now on.
> 
> Thanks for reading :)


	14. Chapter 14

It’s another Friday night spent watching B.B.

 

After tucking B.B. into bed, Rey returns to the living room as she always does and channel surfs. It’s less than a week away from Halloween, and almost all of the movie channels are playing horror movies.

 

Rey is in the mood for something a little lighter, but when she sees _The Shining_ playing, she immediately goes to that channel. She’s never seen the film, but she knows it’s based off of a Stephen King book. And Ben _loves_ Stephen King.

 

Fortunately, she’s caught the movie within the first ten minutes, so she doesn’t really have to worry about figuring out what’s going on. It’s certainly a strange movie, but Rey thinks she would classify it as unsettling rather than scary.

 

About an hour in, she texts Ben, letting him know she’s watching it, but that she doesn’t find it scary. Other than their one time hanging out, it’s the first time she’s texted him about something other than tutoring or getting home safely.

 

He responds quickly, though not immediately, and tells her that the movie is _nothing_ like the book. The movie’s pretty good, he says, but the book is incredible. He then offers to loan it to her once the semester’s over, and she’s got some free time to read.

 

She smiles down at the text. Ben loaning her a book over Christmas break would mean she would have to see him during break. She relishes the idea of continuing to hang out with Ben after the semester’s over. Maybe by that point, she will have figured out how he feels about her, and they can maybe be on their way to something more.

 

She’s becoming more and more certain that Ben does, in fact, reciprocate her interest. She was certain that he was going to kiss her the other night after tutoring—she definitely thought she'd been giving off signals—and was much more disappointed when he hadn’t made a move than she had expected to be.

 

As the credits start rolling on _The Shining,_ B.B.’s parents return home. Rey stands from the couch as they enter the living room, and she has to hide the smile of what she sees before her.

 

B.B.’s parents, Astor and Melchior, are quite the interesting pair and basically total opposites in every way, physically. While Astor is tall, blonde, and rail-thin, Melchior is short with dark brown hair and a bit of a gut. Tonight, they’re both dressed in formalwear, with Astor in a slinky blue gown and Melchior in a tuxedo. Because Astor is wearing heels, she appears even taller than Melchior; it’s almost comical to see.

 

Astor walks over to Rey to give her a hug and quick kiss on the cheek. “How was B.B. tonight?”

 

“Very well behaved, as usual. We played video games right up until bedtime, and then he went to bed and fell right asleep.”

 

“That’s great,” Astor says. She walks back over to Melchior and nudges him with her shoulder.

 

This happens every time they both get home at the same time: Astor nudges her husband’s shoulder, he takes out his wallet, and they pay Rey.

 

This time, though, Melchior pulls out his wallet and produces a little extra money than Rey is used to seeing.

 

Astor must see the shy surprise on Rey’s face because she laughs, and then says, “We’re paying you vacation time, Rey.”

 

Rey is still looking at her, confused. “Vacation time?”

 

Melchior, who is usually very quiet, says, “If this was your full-time job, you’d get paid vacation time off. Astor and I really value what you do for us, and there’s some days coming up where we won’t need you, but—“

 

“But because we appreciate all you do for us, we wanted to give you vacation time as well,” Astor finishes for him. “You’ve got Halloween night off next week. Melchior and I have been working the last two Halloweens, and we really want to go trick-or-treating with B.B. before he gets too old. We’re also going to be taking B.B. out of town the second week of November, so you’ll have that whole week off as well.”

 

Rey is thrilled. Time off of babysitting _with_ _pay?_ She wants to throw her arms around Astor and Melchior, but she manages self-restraint. Instead, she smiles her most grateful smile.

 

“Wow, thank you so much,” she says, grinning from ear to ear.

 

“You deserve it,” Astor tells her, as she takes the cash from her husband and hands it to Rey. “Enjoy yourself.”

 

“I will!”

 

When she gets back to her dorm that night, she finds her roommate Rose lounging on her bed, studying. Rey clears her throat and Rose looks up at her curiously. She then shares her good news.

 

Rose’s face lights up as she shuts her notebook. “That means you can come to the Halloween party Kaydel’s throwing!”

 

“I know!” Rey exclaims, plopping down on her own bed and shrugging off her jacket. “Except now I need a costume. And I don’t want to spend my extra money one because I’m only going to wear it once.”

 

If Rose’s face can get any more excited, it does. “I can help with that. I’m sure between my closet and your closet, we’ll find some things we can throw together to make a costume.”

 

Rose gets up from her bed, goes to Rey’s tiny closet, and starts rummaging around. Rey lies on her stomach, facing Rose and watching her friend’s antics in amusement.

 

“I can’t believe they’re giving you the full week off, too,” Rose comments, pulling out a knee-length red dress and examining it.

 

“Well, I’ve still got to work at Niima’s, so I won’t have a _full_ week off,” Rey counters, resting her chin in her hand and smirking as Rose scrunches up her face in disgust at a particularly fuzzy sweater she pulls from Rey’s closet.

 

“ _But still._ You’ve got three extra days off. What are you going to do with all that extra time? Hang out with _Ben_?”

 

Rey hasn’t told Rose too much about Ben, just that he tutors her and they hung out that one time… and also that she slept at his apartment the night before one of her exams.  She supposes it’s natural for Rose to speculate on the nature of her relationship with Ben. But Rey’s not sure she’s ready to tell other people about her feelings for Ben; she’s only recently admitted them to herself.

 

“I’m sure I’ll see him when he tutors me,” Rey responds casually.

 

Rose turns her attention away from Rey’s closet and looks over at Rey. “C’mon, Rey. I see the way you are when you come back from his apartment.”

 

“He’s good company,” Rey shrugs.

 

“So, then you should hang out with him on one of your days off,” Rose tells her, quirking an eyebrow cheekily.

 

Rey stands by her thought that Ben needs to be the one to make the next move, whatever that move will be, but _maybe_ she can nudge Ben in the right direction.

 

_Maybe._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like Rey, I have never understood how The Shining came across as a horror movie. I enjoyed it, but thought it was more bizarre than anything else.
> 
> Ben will return in the next chapter, which will Sunday or Monday.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	15. Chapter 15

Ben opens his door to Rey, and he can tell something’s off about her. She’s in her work uniform, but she looks a little disheveled.

 

“Hey…” he greets.

 

“Hi,” she replies. Even her voice sounds off.

 

She drags her feet across his carpet, making her way to the kitchen. She drops her payment, the usual brown paper bag with pastries, down on the counter, and then plops down in her usual chair at the kitchen table.

 

“Are you okay?” he asks, eyeing her carefully.

 

“I’m a little hungover,” Rey says, looking up at him, a tired smile playing on her face.

 

“From last night? You went out for Halloween?”

 

“Yeah. I went to a party. It was a good time.”

 

Ben chuckles as he pulls out his chair and sits beside Rey. “It must have been if you’re still hungover twenty-four hours later.”

 

“I didn’t get much sleep when I got home,” she admits.

 

“How much is not much?”

 

Rey winces guiltily. “About two hours.”

 

Ben’s eyebrows shoot up to his hairline. “You should have called me. We could have cancelled tonight.”

 

“Nah,” she says, shaking her head. “I’m fine. Just tired. My headache’s mostly gone at this point.”

 

“Okay,” Ben says, rolling his eyes playfully. “Well, I’ll go easy on you. You’re in good shape for your exam next week.”

 

She grins that bright, toothy smile of hers that Ben has come to appreciate, and Ben has to look away. If he looks at her smile for too long, he’ll get lost staring at it.

 

“What about you?” Rey asks, nudging him and making him look at her once more.

 

“ _What_ about me?”

 

“What did you do for Halloween? Go to any cool grad student parties?”

 

He laughs at the ludicrousness of Rey’s comment. “Nope, no grad student parties. I stayed home, drank a few beers, and watched some horror movies. It’s the best way to do Halloween.”

 

Rey eyes him skeptically. “Seriously? It’s better than going to a party with friends?”

 

~

 

Ben’s eyes drop from Rey’s, and she wonders if she’s said something wrong. Ben awkwardly clears his throat and smiles down at the kitchen table.

 

“I don’t have a lot of friends,” he says, before looking back up at her. Surprisingly, there’s almost no sadness in his voice or on his face; instead, there’s just resignation.

 

Rey opens her mouth to reply, but she quickly closes it when she realizes she doesn’t know what to say.

 

“I used to be a pretty difficult guy,” he expands, a gentle smile still lingering on his face. “I was a loner in high school and most of college. My closest friend is someone I met in grad school, and she works out of town now.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“And then there’s you,” he offers, shyly shrugging. His smile grows a little, and Rey’s heart gives a little, involuntary jump.

 

“I’m glad we’ve become friends,” Rey tells him. “You’re really fun to hang out with.”

 

It’s her version of hopefully nudging him in the right direction, hopefully getting him to make some sort of move. And to her delighted surprise, _it works._

“Likewise. Maybe we could hang out again after your exam next week.”

 

 _Bingo,_ Rey thinks.

 

“Actually, that’d be perfect. I’m not babysitting next week, so I’ll have some extra free time.”

 

It might be her imagination, but Ben’s face seems to light up. “That’s great!”

 

“How would Friday work for you?” she asks.

 

“Rey,” he says, his eyes kind, “I just told you I don’t have many friends.”

 

She’s confused by what he means, and he must see it on her face because he chuckles and puts a hand on her shoulder.

 

“I just told you I don’t have many friends,” he repeats, “So, of course I’m free on Friday.”

 

~

 

During their two-hour session, they study, but they also joke around a lot. Things between them feel really loose, with Ben laughing at Rey’s jokes and Rey playfully hitting him on the arm when he teases her for the face she makes when she concentrates really hard.

 

Ben’s amazed at how comfortable he feels with Rey. He can’t recall ever feeling this relaxed with another person this quickly. Even with Phasma, it took a long time for him to feel like she was a confidant and someone he could be completely himself with. With Rey, it’s been less than two months, but it feels like they’ve known each other for years.

 

When they finish up with the tutoring, Rey lingers at his place for a little while, not that Ben minds. They sit on his couch, discussing _The Shining_ and other great horror movies.

 

“I think I’m going to need you to write all of these down for me,” Rey says, laughing. She’s hugging one of the throw pillows from his couch to her chest. It’s almost painfully cute.

 

“I’d be happy to do that.” Then bravely, he adds, “We could even watch some together, if you’d like?”

 

 _There’s that smile again,_ he thinks to himself.

“I’d definitely like that,” Rey replies.

 

He nods, working to keep his enthusiasm in check, and then changes the subject. “So tell me about this Halloween party?”

 

“It was just a party at my friend’s apartment. About twenty of us.”

 

“Did you dress up?”

 

“I threw something together,” she says, a little coy. He’s intrigued now.

 

“What did you throw together?” he asks, an eyebrow raised.

 

Rey snorts and grabs her phone from where it’s laying on his coffee table. She unlocks it and scrolls before finding what she’s looking for. Rey passes the phone to him, and Ben’s eyes widen.

 

“What in the—are you Little Red Riding Hood?”

 

“Zombie Little Red Riding Hood,” Rey says, smirking.

 

In the picture he’s looking at, Rey is wearing a short black dress with a red belt and, of course, a red cape. Her face is painted white and she’s got fake bloody cuts and scratches on her face and arms.

 

“Zombie Little Red Riding Hood,” Ben repeats, amused. “I like it.”

 

“There’s another picture. Scroll right.”

 

Ben does as she says, and he sees her in a group picture with three people, one guy and two girls, he’s assuming are her friends.

 

“Those are my best friends. Finn’s the one on the far left, though you can’t see his face. He dressed as—“

 

“As a Xenomorph,” Ben finishes. “I’m impressed. That’s intense.”

 

“Yeah, he gets really into Halloween,” Rey laughs. “And then there’s me, obviously. Then next to me is my roommate Rose. She’s clearly Wonder Woman. And then on the far right is Kaydel. She’s the one who threw the party.”

 

“And what’s she supposed to be?” Ben asks, examining the picture. The young woman is wearing a pink suit and her blonde hair is down and curly. She’s also holding a fake dog in one hand and a briefcase in the other.

 

“She’s Elle Woods.”

 

“Who?”

 

“From the movie _Legally Blonde_ ,” Rey says slowly, as if Ben is dumb.

 

Ben shrugs. “I’ve never heard of it.”

 

Rey throws the pillow she had been hugging at Ben. “You’re lying!”

 

“I’m not,” he says, laughing and throwing the pillow back at her.

 

She catches it and then shakes her head in disbelief. “We’ll have to watch that movie too, then.”

 

“I’m guessing it’s not a horror movie,” he says, grinning.

 

Rey laughs a full belly laugh. “Definitely not.”

 

Eventually, Rey has to go home, but as usual, she texts him when she gets back to her dorm.

 

_Made it home safely. I’m looking forward to hanging out next week!_

A wave of anticipation passes over Ben as he reads her text. Her enthusiasm is the confidence boost he needs to finally seal the deal. He decides that if things between them continue going down the path they are currently going and if next Friday goes well, he’ll kiss her.

 

That night he falls asleep imagining all the different scenarios in which that wonderful moment could happen.


	16. Chapter 16

Ben spends the next week brainstorming possible things he and Rey can do on Friday. Perhaps he’ll take her to dinner—nothing too fancy but something a step above casual. Or maybe they can go see a movie and get gelato after. They could also go to a concert in the park or grab another drink at a bar. The possibilities are endless. Neither has actually referred to Friday as a date, but at this point, that’s how he’s viewing it, and he’s pretty certain she sees it that way too.

 

When Rey comes over on Sunday and Monday for tutoring, he can tell that she’s excited for Friday as well. There’s an _energy_ vibrating between them now, and Ben is tempted more than once to just make a move during one of their sessions. There are times when conditions are just right too. A moment here when they’re sitting at the table working through a problem and she looks up at him to ask a question, but he sees _more_ than just a calculus question in her eyes. A moment there when he walks her down to her car and her shoulder brushes against his on the stairs.

 

He doesn’t make a move, though, instead electing to wait until they hang out properly because he feels that those conditions could be more… _romantic._ He envisions a proper buildup throughout the night—flirtatious comments, shy glances, silencess heavy with words unspoken. He’s thought about this almost nonstop all week, and it’s all he can do to keep his anxiety, excitement, and desire in check.

 

By Thursday, Ben feels like he’s almost reached the finish line. Twenty-four hours from now, they’ll be out together. He’s decided on taking her to a jazz concert in the park and then go for drinks after. He ran the idea by Phasma, and she enthusiastically approved it. Ben plans on revealing the plans to Rey tonight when she comes over for tutoring, but when she arrives, he immediately can tell that something is off. An uncomfortable dread settles in his gut as she walks into his apartment and makes her way to the kitchen.

 

“I’ve got bad news,” Rey says, all but wincing as she speaks.

 

Ben closes his front door and leans up against it. “What is it?”

 

“I can’t hang out tomorrow. B.B.’s mom texted me while I was at work tonight. They’re coming home from their vacation early because there’s been an emergency at the hospital and both she and B.B.'s father have to work.”

 

“We could hang out after you get off? Just grab a quick drink or something?” Ben suggests. The night would feel a little rushed and definitely less romantic, but it’d be better than nothing.

 

Rey frowns. “I’m going to be there all night. They asked if I could possibly stay the night if need be.”

 

Rey doesn’t bother hiding the disappointment on her face, and this makes Ben feel slightly better about not suppressing his own disappointment.

 

“Oh.”

 

“Yeah…” Rey sighs. “I’m sorry. I was really excited about tomorrow.”

 

Ben shakes his head. “It’s okay.”

 

As bummed as he is, there’s something comforting in seeing that Rey is as upset by this development as he is.

 

“Maybe we could hang out next week?” she suggests. “I could try to request a night off from Niima’s, or at least see if someone can switch shifts with me. Maybe next Saturday? There’s a girl I work with who sometimes picks up doubles on the weekend.”

 

Ben runs a hand through his hair. “Possibly. My parents will be in town through Saturday, so we’d have to play it by ear.”

 

“That’s right. Alumni week. I forgot.”

 

Ben walks over to where she’s standing by the kitchen table. “I want to,” he tells her earnestly. “We’ll just have to see.”

 

~

 

She offers him a small smile, exhales a deep breath, and then claps her hands together, remembering she has other, _better_ news.

 

“What?” he asks, and Rey’s happy to see his eyes light up a little.

 

“I think I did really well on my exam!”

 

“That’s great, Rey!” he exclaims. “I knew you would. Which is why I was a little surprised when you still wanted to go ahead with tutoring tonight.”

 

Rey bites the inside of her cheek. When Ben had asked if she still wanted to meet up Thursday since she wouldn’t have any new material to learn, Rey had told him that she definitely still wanted to get together, suggesting they get a head start on the next chapter. Really, she just wanted an excuse to see him once more.

 

“It never hurts to get ahead,” she says casually, as she sits down.

 

Ben nods. “You’re right,” he agrees, also sitting down. He then taps his finger on her textbook, which she’s just taken out of her backpack. “Now, let’s see what you’re learning next.”

 

The mood between them is certainly more subdued tonight as they study. Throughout the week, Rey had noticed what felt like a buildup of excitement between them, but tonight it feels like that buildup has plateaued.

 

Of course she’s disappointed by the turn of events. When Astor had texted her earlier, Rey’s heart had sunk, and she had dreaded telling Ben the news. It had become obvious over the week that he was just as excited about Friday, as she was. He had taken the news well, and she felt hopeful that they’d find a day to make up their…well, it wasn’t a _date_ , but it kind of was, wasn’t it? She had certainly begun thinking of it like that.

 

Ben walks Rey to her car just like he usually does, but they don’t really speak to each other. Lately, he’s been walking her all the way to her car, but tonight he goes even further. As Rey always does when she’s walking down the stairs, she clicks her key, automatically unlocking her door. Tonight though, they reach her car and he opens the driver’s side door for her.

 

She looks up at him, pleasantly surprised, and he’s looking down at her, a small, sweet smile on his lips.

 

“Thank you,” she says.

 

“You’re welcome.” His already deep voice somehow sounds lower.

 

She throws her backpack across the driver’s seat onto the passenger’s seat and then turns back to him. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out for tomorrow.”

 

He shrugs casually, the smile still playing on his lips. “It’s okay, really.”

 

“Okay, good,” she replies, and then opens her arms to him. They don’t always hug, and when they do she always initiates it. It doesn’t bother her though. She understands Ben enough now to know that he’s quite reserved even though he’s opened up quite a bit to her.

 

Ben steps into her arms for a quick hug as usual, but then he does something that surprises her. When they pull back, he plants a kiss to her cheek. It’s quick and his lips barely touch the side of her face. It’s almost an air kiss.   _Almost but not quite._

When she looks up at his face, she sees his cheeks are shaded pink, but he’s still smiling, and there’s something that looks like hope in his eyes.

 

Her own lips quirk upward, and she gives him a knowing look.

 

He clears his throat. “Have a good night, Rey. I’ll see you Sunday for tutoring.”

 

She looks at him a moment more before sliding down into the driver’s seat. “See you Sunday. I’ll text you when I get home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I'm milking this slow burn for all it's worth, and I'm sorry. At least they're on the same page (for now!). I won't say if a kiss is coming soon or not, but I will say that there's a chapter coming up that I think readers will really like!


	17. Chapter 17

“ _Whoa_ ,” Rey says, as she walks into Ben’s apartment Sunday evening. “Your apartment’s even cleaner than normal. I didn’t think that was possible.”

 

Ben laughs at her comment, as he shuts the front door behind her.

 

“Remember how I said my parents were coming to town this week? Fortunately, they’re not staying with me, but I’m sure they’ll stop by at one point, and I figured it’s best to have a spotless place. It’s less for them to nag about.”

 

He’d spent all weekend cleaning his apartment. And while he did so, he ruminated on what had happened Thursday night between himself and Rey. He had kissed her goodnight—well, kissed her goodnight on the _cheek_. He hadn’t planned it, and the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind until he was in her arms, hugging her goodbye. He had intended on waiting until they actually hung out to kiss her—and he still planned on waiting until then to _actually_ kiss her—but he had so been looking forward to Friday, and then knowing it wouldn’t happen, he almost felt like he needed to do something to sedate his—or maybe even both of their—overwhelming emotions a little until they were able to postpone their hangout/almost date.

 

“I see,” Rey chuckles, still looking around his place. “Well, I don’t think they’ll be able to nag you about your apartment.”

 

“Nah, they’ll find something else to pester me about,” he responds, but he says it fondly.

 

“Really? Like what?”

 

“Oh, you know…how I don’t visit enough or call them enough.  Or how my hair's too long.  Or that I need to add some more color into my wardrobe.  Or how I never go out and how they’re going to die without having grandchildren.”

 

It’s a rant he’s subjected Phasma to many times, which is why it all slips effortlessly off his tongue. It’s only after the words come out—particularly those about not going out or giving his parents grandchildren—that he realizes maybe he’s said too much.

 

Maybe he _shouldn’t_ have mentioned his parents’ desire for grandchildren in front of the woman he’s interested in…           

 

They sit down together at his table, and Rey fondly remarks, “They sound like characters.”

 

He’s happy to see that she doesn’t appear to be uncomfortable by his previous statement. Ben, however, can feel the red warmth on his cheeks

 

“They’re definitely that,” he agrees, as turns behind him, both to grab the paper bag of pastries from the counter and to momentarily hide his blush from Rey. He digs out a fritter and begins munching on it. “I’m excited to see them though. I just like them in small doses.”

 

Rey nods thoughtfully, and for a moment, he feels bad for talking about his parents in a way that seems a little ungrateful in front of Rey. But Rey must seem to pick up on this because she then shakes her head and looks at him earnestly.

 

“I know what you’re thinking,” she says, holding up a hand. “Don’t feel bad for talking about your parents in front of me. I’m used to it, trust me.”

 

He softens his somewhat guilty expression. “Okay.”

 

They get to work a moment later, and thankfully because they started this new chapter early, it’s a really easy tutoring session. Mostly, he sits back and watches Rey work, pointing out mistakes when she makes them, though these moments are rare.  He really enjoys watching her work, especially when she glances up at him, her beautiful hazel eyes silently asking him if she's going about answering a problem correctly.  Each time she does this, he has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop the massive smile that is fighting to be seen. 

 

As they are wrapping up, his phone vibrates. He glances down and sees an automated message from his dry cleaners. They’re letting him know his suit is ready to be picked up. That reminds him—he needs to tell Rey that they’ll have to reschedule their tutoring session on Thursday.

 

He tells her this and explains why. “My parents are going to one of those university galas, and they asked me to go with them.”

 

~ 

 

“Okay, that’s no problem,” she replies, and then with a twinkle in her eyes, she adds, “Now we’re even on cancellations.”

 

“That’s true,” Ben chuckles. “I’m happy to reschedule on another day”

 

“I’m sure we’ll find some time. Are we still playing Saturday by ear?”

 

“Definitely,” Ben says quickly. “If I wind up being free, we can use that night for tutoring.”

 

“No, if you wind up being free, I want to go out and do something with you, like we planned," she replies earnestly, putting her hand on top of his.

 

They both look down at their hands and then slowly back up at one another.  Rey sees Ben's rare full-faced smile, and she can't help but to smile a massive smile of her own.

 

“Okay,” he says, and there’s such pure happiness in his voice that it makes Rey’s heart flutter. “Sounds like a plan.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a painfully short chapter. I debated very hard about whether to combine this chapter and the next chapter, but ultimately, I decided things would flow better if I just let the next chapter stand on its own.
> 
> As I believe I mentioned in the comments of the last chapter, I've decided to adjust my posting schedule slightly for this week. This is why this chapter is going up Sunday instead of Monday. The next chapter will be up Tuesday instead of Thursday, and then the chapter after that will be posted on Thursday. From there, I'll probably resume my normal posting schedule. I'm doing this because this chapter is incredibly short and the next chapter is all Ben with his parents (who are amazing, obviously), and I know how frustrating it can be to read a slow burn where you're just mining for any cute moment between the ship.
> 
> Anyway, thanks for all of the support! See you all on Tuesday :)


	18. Chapter 18

It’s late Tuesday evening when Ben hears that familiar “Shave and a Haircut” knock on his apartment door.

 

_They’re here._

He takes a deep breath in, exhales it, and then opens the door to his parents, Leia Organa and Han Solo.

 

His mother, a short but formidable woman, smiles wryly at him, and Ben can’t help but crack a smile. He takes her in for a second, noting her expensive looking navy suit and her continuously graying brown hair which, of course, is done up in some intricate braid.

 

Before he can even get out a greeting though, his mother pulls him into one of her infamous bear hugs. She smells heavily of expensive perfume, just as she always does, but there’s something familiar about the smell, so Ben doesn’t mind it.

 

“We’ve missed you,” she tells him, as she lets him go and steps aside so that he can hug his father.

 

“I’ve missed you guys too,” Ben replies, going in to hug Han.

 

It’s a much quicker hug than the one he just shared with his mother, but he can tell from the embrace that there’s just as much love in it.

 

His father is only an inch or two shorter than him, and it’s obviously where Ben gets his height. And where his mother’s hair is still brown with streaks of gray, his father’s hair is completely silver. He’s also wearing the same brown leather jacket he’s had since he was around Ben’s age.

 

“Come in,” he says, opening the door wider for them.

 

His mother picks up two large paper bags from the ground that had Ben had not previously noticed and carries them inside. His father follows behind her, taking his time with casual swagger.

 

He watches his parents carefully, and he can see his mother is already scanning the apartment, looking for something to comment on, as she walks to his kitchen to put down the bags. His father simply makes himself at home on Ben’s couch and puts his feet up on the coffee table.

 

“I brought you groceries,” Leia tells Ben, setting the bags down on his counter. “I wanted to make sure you were eating okay.”

 

Ben chuckles and rolls his eyes. “I’m eating fine, Mom.”

 

“She insisted,” Han comments from the living room. “She’s missed not being able to cook for you.”

 

“I had all these elaborate meals planned out for you when you came home for fall break, but then, of course, you didn’t come in,” Leia says. Her back is to him because she’s in the pantry, so he can’t see her face, but he can tell from her voice that she’s disappointed.

 

A small twinge of guilt twists in his gut. “I really needed to work on my dissertation. I’ve still got a good chunk left to write. It’s a real bitch.”

 

“ _Ben_ ,” his mother scolds, now turning around. “You know I don’t like that word.”

 

His father laughs at his mother’s comment, and Ben groans.

 

“Sorry,” he mutters.

 

Leia smiles, satisfied with his response, and returns to unpacking the food.

 

“Hey Ben, you got any beer?” Han asks.

 

“Yeah, you want one?”

 

“Absolutely,” his father responds, not getting up from where he is on the couch. He absentmindedly thinks of how his dad is sitting on the side Rey usually sits on.

 

And then, as if his mother is somehow in his head, she asks, “Ben, who’s Rey?”

 

Ben’s head whips around to his mother. “Huh?”

 

His mother points to a small calendar hanging on the inside of his pantry. On every Sunday, Monday, and Thursday, Ben had written ‘REY’ in black sharpie.

 

“Oh,” he says, silently cursing himself for not taking the calendar down. He hadn’t planned on mentioning Rey to his parents until after they had officially established what they felt for each other.

 

“Well?” Leia asks, a hand on her hip.

 

“Someone I tutor,” he answers simply.

 

“I didn’t realize the tutoring center was opened on Sundays. That seems a lot to ask of you all,” Leia comments.

 

He should leave it there, let his mother believe that the tutoring center is, in fact, open on the weekends, but for some reason, he doesn’t.

 

“Oh, no, I tutor her privately,” he says, working to keep his expression neutral.

 

From behind him, he hears his father rise from the couch. Han’s either anxious for that beer or Ben’s piqued his interest. He hopes it’s the former but suspects it’s the latter. Ben quickly goes to the fridge to pull out a beer, hoping to distract at least one of his parents from the looming inquisition he suspects he’s about to receive. It doesn’t work.

 

“ _Her_?” his father asks, coming up behind him.

 

Simultaneously, his mother says, “Privately?”

 

Ben sighs and hands his father the beer. Han groans about it being an IPA, but he doesn’t go back to the couch. He’s still looking at him curiously, but the look his mother is giving him, though, is downright nosy.

 

“Yes, Rey’s a girl, and yes, I tutor her privately. She comes over, and I help her with Calculus.”

 

“She comes over here?” Leia asks, her eyes wide. “And does she pay you?”

 

"Sort of.”

           

Han snorts, and Ben’s blushes furiously at the dirty joke his father is certainly holding back for his mother’s sake.

 

“What do you mean, ‘sort of?’” Leia asks. Her attention to the groceries is completely gone at this point. She’s laser-focused now on Rey and their tutoring situation.

 

“She’s kind of—well, she supports herself, so she doesn’t have a lot of money to spare. She works at a coffee shop and pays me in the pastries they have left over at the end of the night.”

 

Han downright cackles now, and Leia’s lips are twitching upward into a smile. He realizes, maybe for the first time, that their arrangement sounds ridiculous, and _maybe it is,_ but it’s worked well for them.

 

“That’s sweet, Ben,” Leia says.

 

“Wait,” Han asks, slapping his hand on Ben’s shoulder. “Is _Rey_ the reason you didn’t come home for fall break?”

 

 _Not exactly_ , he thinks. He responds, “No. I already told you why I didn’t come home for break.”

 

“Okay,” Han says, removing his hand from Ben. Ben can tell from his father’s voice that he doesn’t believe him, but he’s letting it be, so Ben doesn’t argue. His father makes his way back over to the couch with his beer, but his mother is still eyeing him. He decides to finish unpacking the things she’s brought for him. It’ll give him something to do, instead of just standing there awkwardly while she interrogates him.

 

“So, Rey comes over here three nights a week, and you teach her calculus in exchange for baked goods. That’s correct?”

 

Ben nods, scooting his mother out of the way of the pantry so that he can unload the cans and cans of tomato sauce.

 

“That’s a lot of time together,” Leia says.

 

“Yeah,” Ben replies, his back to Leia, as she takes up the spot he had been standing in a minute ago.

 

“You like her?”

 

“She’s a nice girl. Very smart.”

 

Leia chuckles. “No, Ben. I mean, are you _interested_ in her?”

 

_And there it is._

 

Ben considers himself a pretty good liar, but he’s never been able to hide anything from his mother. Sometimes over the phone, he can get something past her, but when they’re in the same room and she’s looking into his eyes—the eyes she passed on to him—she can see right through any bullshit he tries to pull.

 

As a last ditch effort, Ben keeps facing away from his mother and replies, “I don’t know.”

 

“ _Ben_ ,” his mother says sternly. “Turn around.”

 

And just like that, he’s done for. He turns around to face his mother, and before he even has a chance to say anything, she smiles her all-knowing smile and nods slowly.

 

“So, you do.”

 

Ben gives a half-hearted shrug. “Yeah.”

 

“Do you think she’s interested in you?”

 

Ben rubs his hand across his jaw. “I think so,” he answers quietly. “We haven’t gotten that far yet.”

 

“But you’re working on it?” Leia presses.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Leia folds her arms across her chest and nods her approval. “Good. I’m proud of you for being proactive about this.”

 

“You sound like a coach, Leia,” Han remarks with a chuckle from his spot on the couch.

 

His mother rolls her eyes at his father’s comment and then turns her attention back to Ben, an alarming sparkle in her eye.

 

 _Uh oh_ , he thinks.

 

“Why don’t you invite her to the gala on Thursday? We’d be happy to buy an extra ticket for her.”

 

Ben is taken aback by his mom’s suggestion, but he responds nonetheless. “I think I’ll pass on that. I don’t think we’re there quite yet, and she works on Thursdays.”

 

Leia is clearly disappointed, but thankfully she doesn’t push the issue. Instead, she just nods and returns to the pantry, helping Ben unload the last of the groceries.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will be Thursday. It probably won't go the way you think (if you're thinking anything), but hopefully you'll enjoy it. It was one of my favorite chapters to write.


	19. Chapter 19

The gala is held in a ballroom at a hotel near the university. There is a buffet dinner, silent auction, and an open bar—not like Ben can drink, though. He is his parents' designated driver, so he gets a glass of red wine at the beginning of the night and nurses it as slowly as possible.

 

Most of the attendees at the gala are significantly older, so he’s stuck being introduced to people by his parents. Most are perfectly uninteresting, but a few people won’t stop talking to him and he has to politely find a way to exit the conversation. One woman even tries to give him her daughter’s number.

 

About an hour and a half into the night, and Ben cannot wait to go home.

 

Currently, he is sitting at a table in the corner, sipping the last drops of his wine and watching his parents talk to the president of the university. He is bored out of his mind and wishing he were back at his place tutoring Rey.

 

Thinking she might enjoy hearing that, he pulls out his phone and texts her.

 

_This gala is boring as hell. It makes calculus look like the circus._

Five minutes later, she responds.

 

_I’ve never actually been to the circus, believe it or not. Things here are pretty boring too though. We’re so slow, I’m going to be closing by myself tonight._

He stares at her text for a minute, an idea brewing in his mind. The coffee shop where she works is only about fifteen minutes away from where he is, and it closes in about twenty minutes. The gala doesn’t end for another hour and a half. He could probably sneak away for a little bit and surprise her, while easily being able to make it back in time to come pick up his parents.

 

His mind made up, he finds his parents who are now talking to the director of alumni affairs. His mother turns to him, a slightly tipsy smile on her face.

 

“Ben, you’ve met Carlist before, haven’t you?” she asks, putting the hand that is not holding a glass of wine on Ben’s shoulder.

 

“Yes,” Ben replies, nodding a ‘hello’ to the man. “Good to see you again, Mr. Rieekan.” He then turns his attention to his parents. “I’m going to run out for a second, but I’ll be back in a little bit.”

 

His mother looks at him curiously. “Why?”

 

Ben leans in, speaking low so that Carlist Rieekan can’t here his truthful lie. “The food is awful. I’m going to grab a burger real quick.”

 

His father laughs and slaps Ben on the back. “Pick one up for me too, won’t you, kid?”

 

Ben nods, making a mental note to pick up a burger on the way back.

 

“Okay,” Leia says. “Come back soon.”

 

“I will.”

 

He then turns around and heads for the exit as quickly as he can without actually running.

 

~

 

Rey turns the key, locking the front door of the Niima’s. She then pulls her phone out of her back pocket, finds a good playlist, and sets it on the counter before pressing the play button.

 

Honestly, Rey loves closing by herself. It doesn’t happen often, but when they have days as slow as tonight, someone usually gets to go home early to cut hours. Rey’s co-worker had really wanted to go home, and Rey, who always needed a little extra cash, volunteered to stay.

 

The kitchen area is already cleaned, so all Rey really has to do is clean the tables, sweep the floor, and pour the left over coffee down the drain. She gets to work cleaning the tables, humming along to the song playing from her phone and letting her mind wander.

 

On any other Thursday, Rey would be heading over to Ben’s apartment after getting off work, but Ben’s at that fancy gala tonight with his parents. Rey’s never been to a fancy gala—hell, she probably doesn’t even own a dress fancy enough for a gala. She’s bummed she won’t get to see Ben tonight, but she’s got her fingers crossed that they can hang out this weekend, his plans permitting.

 

The other night, Rose had suggested Rey invite Ben to Finn’s birthday party tomorrow night. Rey’s mulled it over, and she’s still on the fence. She’d like Ben to come, mainly because it’s another opportunity to see him, but she doesn’t know if inviting him to an event with all her friends is a step they have reached yet. Is that something just couples do? Or can people who are not in a relationship but almost definitely like each other even though neither has made a concrete move yet do that as well? She’s decided she’ll make her decision by tomorrow morning.

 

Rey finishes cleaning the tables and goes to the back to grab the broom from the storage closet. She works her way from the back of the shop to the front, and when she gets to the front, she notices a car pull up in the parking lot.

 

Most of Niima’s customers are regulars, so they know the place closes at nine. Pausing her sweeping, Rey watches the car and notices the driver is not getting out. This is not a good sign, she thinks, and she’s about to go get her phone to call the police when the headlights of the car go off and she can actually _see_ the car.

_It’s Ben’s car._

Her heart leaps excitedly, and she immediately unlocks the front door and jogs over to where he’s parked.

 

Smiling, he rolls down his window as she approaches his car.

 

“Surprise!”

 

“What are you doing here?” she exclaims, not bothering to hide her excitement.

 

“I came to surprise you,” he tells her.

 

“Well, you nearly scared me half to death,” she says, laughing. “I thought you were a burglar or maybe that creep.”

 

Ben grimaces. “I’m sorry. I was just going to wait in the car until you were done. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

 

She exhales a shaky breath. In the span of a minute or so, she’s gone from fearing for her safety to complete elation. Her body is still taking a moment to catch up.

 

“It’s okay. You can come in, if you want. I’ll be done in about ten minutes anyway.”

 

Ben eyes the front door. “There aren’t cameras inside? They won’t find out that you let some stranger inside?”

 

“No,” Rey says, rolling her eyes. “The owners are too cheap for cameras.”

 

His eyes return to hers, and he says, “You got any left over apple fritters?”

 

“Plenty,” Rey answers, grinning.

 

Ben gets out of his car and Rey is taken aback by his appearance. He’s dressed in a black suit with a white shirt and black tie, though he’s missing the suit jacket and his sleeves are rolled up to his forearms. _(Those blasted forearms.)_

_Damn, he looks handsome._

Her cheeks are hot and her whole body feels like it’s buzzing, and she realizes she must be gaping.

 

“You look nice,” she says, figuring since she can’t hide her reaction she might as well own it.

 

“Oh,” he says, looking down at his attire. She’s pretty sure he’s just doing that to hide his own pink face. “Thank you.”

 

Ben accompanies her inside, and she points to the counter where she had earlier filled a bag with pastries.

 

“I was going to bring them home for Rose, but you get first pick of what you want,” she says, as she goes behind the counter.

 

“Good,” he says, peaking into the bag. “The food at this gala was shit. For a hundred dollars a ticket, you’d think it’d at least be edible.”

 

Rey laughs as she disappears for a moment to put the broom up.

 

_Ben is here. Ben left the event he was at and showed up at her place of work to surprise her._

 

She leans against the inside of the closet door for a moment, getting a hold on herself.

 

Of course, she’s attracted to Ben; she’s known that for a while now. But there’s something about him showing up here, wearing that suit, and the two of them being alone like this that seems to set her body on fire.

 

Frankly, her desire surprises her. It’s not that she doesn’t think about sex; it’s just never really been in the forefront of her mind. But right now, it _is_ in the forefront, and she has to remind herself that they haven’t even been on a proper date yet.

 

 _There’s a good handful of steps we need to get through first_ , she thinks, as she talks her body down a little.

 

When she feels like she’s significantly cooled down, she makes her way back out and sees Ben munching on an apple fritter.

 

“This is my second one,” he says with a full mouth.

 

“I’m glad I was able to feed you.”

 

“Me too,” he grins.

 

The last thing Rey needs to do is empty the leftover coffee down the drain. There’s three large coffee carafes, and she carries them over one by one and dumps the excess coffee down the sink.

 

The third carafe is particularly heavy, and Rey has to carefully carry it to the sink. She’s got one hand on the bottom of the carafe and the other hand gripping the side. For a second, she thinks about asking Ben for help, but she’s done this before a thousand times and she knows she can do it.

 

She’s almost to the sink when somehow—she’s not even sure how, exactly—the carafe slips from her hands and goes crashing to the floor, spilling coffee everywhere.

 

Rey shrieks, staring down at the awful mess for a second before looking over at Ben, who is already making his way over to her.

 

“I got it,” she says, holding out her hand to stop him before rushing to the shelf where the paper towels are. She’s mortified and any last ounce of desire has definitely vanished.

 

“I’ll help,” he says.

 

“You can’t come behind the counter.”

 

She frantically grabs handfuls of paper towels and brings them over to the mess. Ben, she sees out of the corner of her eye, isn’t listening to her. He climbs over the counter and goes to where the paper towels are. A moment later, he’s on the ground with her, sopping up the mess.

 

“You shouldn’t be back here,” she mutters, her eyes down at the giant puddle of coffee instead of looking over at him.

 

“Oh, c’mon, Rey,” he says. “Let me help you.”

 

She sighs. He’s right. The register’s already closed out and it’s not like he’s going to steal anything. Rey should be thankful for his help.

 

“You’re right. I’m sorry.”

 

He knocks his hand, which is still on the floor cleaning, against hers. “It’s okay. See, we’re almost done? It got done so much faster with two of us.”

 

She finally looks up at him. “Yeah. Thank you.”

 

“It’s no problem.”

 

Ben’s looking at her with this small, sweet expression, and she feels her face soften to mirror his. He’s in that suit and he’s so close and she even thinks she smells a dab of cologne on him, and suddenly the desire is back in full force. Almost involuntarily, her eyes drop to his mouth.

 

~

 

When he sees Rey’s eyes drop to his lips, Ben decides right then and there that he’s not going to wait any longer to kiss her. He’s going to do it now. Maybe it’s not the romantic moment he’d envisioned, but he doesn’t want to wait anymore and it’s pretty clear that she doesn’t want to either.

 

Ben leans forward, and in response, Rey leans in a little too, and now they’re _so close_ that his nose brushes against her cheek.

 

He goes in to close the last few centimeters of distance between them when his phone rings, figuratively dousing them both in ice-cold water and effectively ruining the moment.

 

“Shit,” he mumbles, as they both pull back, startled by the noise.

 

Ben pulls the phone out of his back pocket and sees that it’s his father calling.

 

“Sorry, I’ve got to take this,” he says apologetically.

 

Rey shakes her head. “No, go ahead.”

 

He spares her one last contrite look before answering.

 

“Hello,” he all but groans into the phone.

 

“Ben, are you close with that burger? I’m starving, and your mother’s ready to go. I swear, the woman cannot hold her wine like she used to. She’s practically falling asleep on my shoulder.”

 

He sighs as he stands up. “Um, yeah, Dad. I’m working on the burgers. I’ll be back shortly.”

 

He gets off the phone, returns it to his back pocket, and wistfully looks at Rey, who is now also standing.

 

“I am _so_ sorry,” he says. “I’ve got to go.”

 

“It’s okay,” Rey replies, a regretful look on her face as well.

 

Ben climbs over the counter again and starts making his way to the door. “I’ll be in touch about Saturday, okay?”

 

“Okay, sounds good.”

 

Ben’s at the door and as he turns around to say goodbye, he sees Rey’s eyes widen.

 

“Actually…what are you doing tomorrow night?” she asks.

 

“Dinner with my parents. Why?”

 

“My friend Finn’s birthday is tomorrow night. We’re going out to Resistance, you know, that bar down the street from campus?”

 

“Yeah, I know it,” he says.

 

“Well, I’m going there after I get off from babysitting. If you feel like dropping by after you're done eating with your parents, you definitely should.”

 

She’s biting her lip and her pretty hazel eyes are looking at him expectantly. She’s so _cute_ like this, and Ben has half a mind to forget his parents at the gala, march back over to her, and kiss her. The problem is he’s not sure he’d be able to stop, so he stays where he is.

 

“I definitely will,” he tells her. “That sounds like fun.”

 

A satisfied, almost relieved, smile spreads across her face. Ben has to put his hand on the door, as if to anchor himself so that he won’t go back over to her.

 

“Okay, great. I’ll see you tomorrow night, then.”

 

“Yeah, see you tomorrow night. Thanks for the fritters.”

 

“Thanks for helping with the mess,” she counters, still smiling. “Goodnight.”

 

“Goodnight, Rey.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up Monday. Embrace the slow burn--remember, they've still got a little less than a month left in the semester. Also, things have been going really easily for them so far...it might be time to introduce some conflict soon...
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and for your lovely kudos and comments :)


	20. Chapter 20

Rey goes straight from babysitting to the bar, Resistance, where Finn’s birthday get-together is being held.

 

When she gets there, she spots Rose first, who runs up to her and hugs her.

 

“You look so good!” Rose exclaims, looking Rey up and down.

 

Rose had actually helped Rey pick out her outfit, which Rey has to admit, looks incredible. On top, she wears a thin gray sweater, which is then tucked into a black skirt that goes to her mid-thigh. Because it’s getting quite cold, she finishes the look with black tights and black ankle boots. For makeup, Rey had kept her look relatively simple, though she did opt for a dark plum lipstick shade. For her hair, she had curled it so that it falls in gentle waves at her shoulders.

 

“Thank you!” Rey says.

 

“Have you heard from him?” Rose asks, taking Rey’s arm and bringing her back to where their group is congregating.

 

“Just earlier today when he said he’d try to come by a little before eleven.”

 

Rose smiles. “Are you excited?”

 

“That…and nervous,” Rey replies.

 

She then sees Finn, who also spots her. Finn throws his arms around her and squeezes her tightly.

 

“Happy birthday!” she says, still hugging him. “Are you having a good time?”

 

“Yeah, I’m having a blast,” Finn says, as they separate.

 

“Good,” she replies, looking down at Finn’s almost empty cup. “What are you drinking? I’m getting your next drink.”

 

Rey can tell from the smile Finn gives her that he is more than happy to let her buy him a drink. They go to the bar, and Rey gets them both drinks before they return to their friends.

 

Currently, Rey is sitting on a semi-circular bench, talking to her friend Kaydel. She keeps her phone face up on the table in front of her so that she can keep an eye out just in case Ben texts her.

 

Rey is actually in the middle of telling Kaydel how Ben didn’t know who she was for Halloween in the picture Rey showed him when Finn approaches them, looking ecstatic and more than a little drunk.

 

“Guess who just walked into the bar?” Finn says, slapping his palms on the table and leaning over it.

 

“Ben?” Rey asks, her heart jumping, as she looks toward the entrance.

 

Kaydel says something about Rey getting whiplash, but Finn talks over her.

 

“No!” he exclaims. “Poe Dameron!”

 

Finn points to the handsome grad student who is standing at the bar. “He looks like he’s by himself!”

 

Rey can’t help but grin at her friend. If she didn’t know any better, she’d say Finn had a crush on him. “Well, invite him over then.

 

Finn nods enthusiastically. “Yeah. Yeah, that’s a good idea. I’m going to do that.”

 

Rey and Kaydel watch in amusement as Finn walks away from them and up to Poe at the bar. Poe recognizes Finn, they shake hands, and Finn points to over to where Rey and the rest of their friends are. Poe’s eyes scan them before he turns back to Finn and nods.

 

“That was cute,” Kaydel comments.

 

“Yeah,” Rey says, glancing down at her phone.

 

It’s currently 10:35. Ben should be here soon.

 

A few minutes later, Kaydel sees someone she knows from one of her classes, and she leaves Rey alone on the bench. Rey takes this opportunity to check her makeup with the camera on her phone, but as she’s doing this, she feels someone sidle up next to her on her right.

 

She turns to see who it is, and to her surprise, she sees Poe Dameron sitting next to her and smiling.

 

“Hi, I’m Poe,” he says, sticking out his hand.

 

Rey takes his hand and shakes it. “I’m Rey.”

 

“You look familiar,” he says, putting his arm on the back of the bench behind her.

 

“Well, I’ve seen you in the tutoring center a few times,” Rey tells him, looking over at the entrance to see if Ben has arrived yet; he hasn’t.

 

Poe shakes his head. “No, you haven’t. I would have remembered.”

 

Rey blushes despite herself. She has the distinct feeling that Poe may be flirting with her, which won’t do. She scoots her body the slightest bit away from his.

 

“No, you haven’t helped me. But I’ve seen you in there.”

 

She glances over at the entrance again. Still no Ben.

 

Poe nods. “Oh, I see. So, you’re friends with Finn?”

 

An easy smile plays on her lips at the mention of Finn. Maybe she can take this opportunity to talk up her best friend.

 

“Yeah, we’ve been friends for a long time.”

 

“Really? Since before college?”

 

“Oh, since way before college. He’s my oldest friend.”

 

Poe, Rey thinks, seems genuinely interested in what she’s saying.

 

“He’s a great guy,” she adds. “Very kind and very loyal.”

 

“He’s definitely a cool dude,” Poe agrees. “Pretty awful at math through.”

 

Poe smirks in a way that lets Rey know he’s just teasing her friend, so Rey allows herself a hearty laugh. It is true. Finn’s math skills are abysmal.

 

~

 

Ben’s parents seem to drag out dinner for as long as humanly possible, much to Ben’s dismay. He can’t stop pulling out his phone to check the time. His mother eyes him a couple of times, but thankfully—and miraculously—she doesn’t question him about it. When the check finally comes, Ben wants to throw his hands up in thanksgiving.

           

In the parking lot of the restaurant, he says goodbye to his parents. His mother gives him a short lecture on how he should be better about staying in touch, while his dad stands behind her, smirking. Ben promises he’ll be better about calling—he makes this promise every year—and then bids them goodbye.

           

Ben buzzes with anticipation as he drives to the bar. He feels like he should be more nervous than he actually is, but there’s something about Rey that kind of eases his nerves. Sure, he’s a _little_ nervous, but more than anything, he’s excited.

 

Tonight will be the night that things change between them. He knows it, and he thinks Rey knows it too. To be fair, things have been changing between them for awhile now, but tonight will make it all real. He’s going to tell her how he feels. And then he’s going to kiss her.

 

Once he has parked at the bar and gotten out, Ben gives himself a quick once over. He’s in what his mother would call a dressy casual outfit—slim fitted black jeans with a nice gray t-shirt and black blazer on top. He’s not usually one to care about what he’s wearing, but he wanted to look nice for tonight, for _her._

With adrenaline pumping through his veins, Bent takes a deep breath and enters the bar, immediately scanning the room for Rey. He spots a large group of people in the back who all look like they know each other and thinks this must be Rey’s group of friends. He walks a few paces in that direction, still trying to find Rey, and when he does, he freezes.

 

Rey is sitting on a circular bench in the corner with the one and only Poe Dameron sitting beside her, talking to her. Dameron’s arm, while not actually around Rey’s shoulders, hovers just above on the top of the bench. And then to top it all off, Rey throws her head back and laughs at something Dameron says. He can’t see the expression on Rey’s face, but he sees the one on Poe’s perfectly. It’s the expression he’s seen a million times on him in the tutoring center. The man is absolutely elated with himself for making Rey laugh like she has.

 

In that moment, every hope Ben has had for tonight comes crashing down on top of him. First, there’s an ache in his chest, a very specific kind of hurt that Ben hasn’t allowed himself to feel in a long time. But then that hurt transforms into something resembling rage--another feeling Ben has tried not to allow himself to feel in a long time--and Ben finds himself clenching his fists until he’s surely left little nail crescent-shaped marks on his palms.

 

Knowing that if he stays, he’ll likely do something he’ll regret, Ben turns around and makes a swift exit.

 

He allows himself a moment to breathe once he’s back in his car. It seems, though, that allowing himself a few deep breaths only leads to the thing Ben hates most. _Crying._

 

Thankfully, he doesn’t sob—he won’t let himself—but his eyes well up and he repeatedly swallows a huge lump in his throat.

 

Ben slams his front door shut once he arrives home, enjoying the loud bang it makes. He wants to punch a wall too, but he has enough sense to realize he’d probably put a hole in it and he’s certain his landlord wouldn’t like that. Instead, he goes around slamming doors and kicking furniture as he goes about his evening routine.

 

He’s about to slam his fridge door shut as aggressively as possible when his phone vibrates in his back pocket. Rey has texted him.

 

_Hey Ben. You close?_

He reads it, thinking bitterly about how _close_ Rey and Poe had seemed.

 

He only replies: _Can’t make it. Sorry._

 

A moment later, Rey replies: _Oh, bummer! :( Text me if tomorrow winds up working out for you!_

 

Ben had already made up his mind in the car on the way home that he had no intention of seeing Rey tomorrow. He really doesn’t want to see her Sunday either for their tutoring session, but he’s not going to bail on that. They’ve made an agreement as far as tutoring is concerns, and neither owes the other one anything more than what was decided upon.

 

Later, Ben takes a scalding hot shower. As he stands under the showerhead enjoying the way the painfully hot water hits his skin and blends in with his heated tears, he replays the past two months over and over in his head and tries to see where he misinterpreted something. He had really thought Rey had been interested in him. Maybe she had been interested in him until someone like Poe Dameron, with his good looks and smooth charm, came along. Or maybe Rey hasn’t been interested at all; maybe she was just a friendly person.

 

Tonight, though…tonight is the reason Ben doesn’t get close to people. He allowed himself to _feel,_ to begin to _connect_ with someone, and all it did was backfire spectacularly on him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry!! :( :( :(
> 
> Also, the next update will likely be Friday evening, instead of Thursday. This week is going to be really rough, and I doubt I'll have time to post Thursday.
> 
> Thanks for reading. Things will get better, I promise!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Turns out I had a free hour and a half where I was able to find the time to post this a day earlier than I thought!

By Sunday evening, all of Ben’s rage is gone, and instead, he’s left with this ache that snakes around his heart, constricts, and won’t let go.

 

At some point late Saturday night when he’s about five beers deep, he thinks about canceling his agreement to help tutor Rey. He even goes so far as to pull his phone out as he formulates a text where he suggests she get Poe to tutor her from now on. And if this were three or four years ago, Ben probably would have sent that text. But he made this commitment, and he plans to see it through.

 

There’s also this sick, perhaps masochistic, part of him that wants to see her. He can’t explain why. Maybe he likes reveling in his pain and being around Rey—being so physically close to her after their near miss—would certainly be painful.

 

After she hadn’t heard from him on Saturday, she had texted him Sunday morning to make sure they were still on. He replied with a simple ‘yes,’ and she responded back ‘okay.’

 

He still hasn’t decided yet how he’s going to act when he actually sees her. His instinct is to be petulant, but he thinks polite indifference is the more mature route. Polite indifference is a good way to ease away from what they had started to build—or what he had _thought_ they had started to build.

 

 

~

 

It’s abundantly clear to Rey that something is wrong with Ben.

 

They work through her notes and her homework as they usually do, but there’s no more of the easy playfulness that had slipped into their sessions recently. She wonders if something happened with his parents this weekend, but she doesn’t bring it up while they work; instead, she opts to find a surreptitious way to bring it up after they finish for the night.

 

They’re both still sitting at the table, and Rey’s just finished packing up her books.

 

“So, are you going to home for Thanksgiving?” she asks casually.

 

“Um, no. I don’t plan on it.”

 

Rey nods. “Ben?”

 

“Hmm?” He’s looking down at the table and not at her.

 

“Did something happen?”

 

His head snaps back up and he looks at her with an indiscernible expression on his face. “What?”

 

“Did something happen with your parents?” Rey clarifies.

 

His expression goes dark in a way she hasn’t seen before. Her stomach clenches as she notes how his jaw muscle twitches.

 

“Let’s just say it’s been a trying weekend," he says after a pause.

 

Rey’s lips pull down into a frown. She puts a hand on his shoulder and is startled when he jerks from her touch.

 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

 

The muscle in his jaw twitches again and his eyes drop from hers. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Ben stands from the kitchen table and clears his throat. “I have an early day tomorrow, so you should probably get going.”

 

It’s in that moment, hearing the cold sound of his voice, that Rey realizes that this isn’t about his parents at all. Somehow, this is about her.

 

She stands from the kitchen table as well, resting one hand on her chair. “Ben, did I…do something wrong?”

 

His eyes meet hers, and she sees genuine pain in them.

 

_What did she do?_

 

“Maybe you should ask Poe Dameron to tutor you from now on?” he says in a low voice.

 

Her eyes go big at his words. “What does that mean?”

 

Ben doesn’t answer right away, but when he opens his mouth to speak, Rey throws up her hand and cuts him off

 

“You did come on Friday night, didn’t you? You saw me talking to Poe.”

 

“Yeah, I saw you two together,” he replies.

 

“We weren’t _together_ ,” she counters, more confused than angry at this point.

 

“Are you sure about that? You looked pretty cozy.”

 

 _What does he think he saw_? Rey wonders. She and Poe hadn’t even _touched_ each other. Maybe he was flirting with her, but she had been trying to talk up Finn the whole time.

 

“We weren’t,” she says defensively.

 

He shrugs, clearly trying to be indifferent but failing. “That’s not what it looked like. It looked like you two were have a grand old time. I didn’t want to get in the way, so I left.”

 

Her face heats with anger at his accusation. “Well, I don’t know what it looked like to you, but trust me, that’s not what it was.”

 

“What was it then?” he challenges, his tone going from indifferent to harsh.

 

“We were just talking,” she bites back. She’s angry now because he legitimately seems like he doesn’t believe her, like he thinks she’s lying. _“_ I was waiting for _you_ actually. I was so excited that I couldn’t stop looking at the front door waiting for you to get there.”

 

Ben draws back at this revelation. _How could he not have realized that she was interested in him?_ she wonders. They had almost _kissed_ Thursday night, for God’s sake. Where did they get lost in translation?

 

“Oh…” Ben trails off, the anger in his eyes evaporating.

 

Rey throws her bag over her shoulder and heads for the door. “Yeah,” she says harshly, a bitter smile painted on her face.

 

“I didn’t know…”

 

“Then maybe you should have _asked_ before jumping to conclusions,” she says, turning around to face him. “Because _you’re_ the one I liked. But now…”

 

She scoffs instead of finishing her sentence, before pulling the handle to the front door and leaving him standing there dumbfounded.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for your continued support, especially now that we're trudging through angsty territory.
> 
> Usually, my next update would be Monday. It'll more than likely be Tuesday instead, but we'll see.


	22. Chapter 22

Ben spends all day Monday wondering if Rey is going to come over for tutoring tonight. He almost texts her five different times throughout the day, but he refrains, not knowing exactly what to say. Somehow he thinks, _Are we still on tonight?_ isn’t sufficient.

 

When she doesn’t show up, he realizes just how bad he’s made things between them. He had hoped—maybe foolishly so—that she’d come over tonight and they could act like last night never happened. They’d slowly work their way back to that easy, comfortable place they had reached recently.

 

Obviously, that is not the case, and Ben feels absolutely sick to his stomach.

 

Not knowing what to do next, he calls the only person he’s talked to in any detail about Rey.

 

When Phasma answers the phone, her voice sounds groggy. “Hello?”

 

Ben winces a little. “Did I wake you up?”

 

“Kind of,” Phasma replies, sighing. “What’s going on?”

 

“I messed up.”

 

“With that girl?”

 

“Yes, with Rey,” Ben says, as he collapses on his couch.

 

“What’d you do?”

 

Ben shakes his head. “Well, things were going really well,” he begins. “It got to the point where I thought it was clear that we were into each other. I almost kissed her—“

 

“Almost?” Phasma asks. Ben can practically see her quirking a confused eyebrow.

 

“We were interrupted my father. That’s a whole other story.”

 

Phasma snorts. “Okay, go on.”

 

“So, she had invited me to come out with her for her friend’s birthday. We had to meet there because she had work before and I was eating with my parents. But when I got there, I saw that prick Poe Dameron talking to her. He was leaning in and making her laugh, and it looked like he was flirting with her.”

 

“And you lost it?”

 

“Yes,” Ben groans. “Well, I lost it, but I somehow had the sense not to go ballistic, so I went home instead. Then last night, when she came over for tutoring, she could tell I was upset and asked me what was wrong. Long story short, she found out that I saw her with Dameron, and she made it clear that she wasn’t at all interested in him like that. In fact, she straight up told me that she liked me. But I was acting like such a jackass about it all that she got upset and left. And then she didn’t come over tonight for tutoring.”

 

“Man,” Phasma says, chuckling a little. “You really know how to screw things up, don’t you?”

 

“Yeah,” Ben replies miserably.

 

“Well. I think you need to give her a few days to cool off. You obviously really upset her. But maybe after you’ve given her some time, you can reach out and apologize. And maybe explain where those feelings came from. _I_ know about your issues with rejection and women, but she doesn’t. Tell her the truth, and tell her that you’re working on these issues.”

 

“You don’t think that would scare her off?”

 

“It might. But if anything is going to happen with her, you need to be honest and let her know what your deal is.”

 

Ben sighs, reflecting on this. Phasma’s brutal honesty is both refreshing and nerve-wracking, but he knows she’s right.

 

“Ben?” Phasma says when Ben doesn’t respond. “You there?”

 

“Yeah. Just thinking about what you said.”

 

“You gonna take my advice?”

 

He sighs again. “Yes.”

 

“Don’t sound so put out about,” she tells him, chuckling again. “This is what is required out of adult relationships.”

 

“I know,” he says. “I know.”

 

“Speaking of adult relationships, how are things on your end?” Ben says.

 

"We can talk about that another night,” Phasma laughs. “But I’d like to get back to bed now, if you don’t mind.”

 

Ben smiles for the first time in three days. “I don’t mind. Have a good night. Thanks for your help.”

 

~

 

Rey is miserable all Monday morning at school, and when she gets a call around lunchtime from her boss asking her to come in early because one of her co-workers is sick, Rey just knows her day is bound to get worse. The only good thing about working a double shift is that she has less time to dwell on what happened with Ben the night before. But when she finally gets off work and gets home, the reality of what happened last night between them slaps her across the face.

 

"You’re home early,” Rose comments, as Rey walks through the door of their dorm. “No tutoring with _Ben_ tonight.”

 

Rey’s chest aches at the playful way Rose says Ben’s name.

 

She hadn’t told Rose about what had happened between her and Ben last night because Rose had already been asleep when she got home and was gone by the time Rey woke up this morning. But now Rey is faced with either having to lie to her roommate or tell her the painful truth.

 

Rose must notice the indecision on Rey’s face because she frowns. “What happened?”

 

The question seems to press the ‘ON’ button on Rey’s tear ducts because suddenly, her eyes are wet and her lip is quivering.

 

“Oh, no,” Rose says. She motions for Rey to join her on her bed, and Rey does, sitting cross-legged across from her friend.

 

Rey proceeds to tell Rose everything that happened Friday night and Sunday night. She allows the tears to flow, this being the first time she’s cried about the situation. Being a good friend, Rose leans over to her nightstand and pulls a couple of tissues from the tissue box that she keeps there.

 

When she’s done telling Rose the story, she feels marginally better and there are no more tears.

 

“Sounds like a major lack of communication,” Rose surmises.

 

“I just really thought we were on the same page. I thought he knew how I felt about him.”

 

“Maybe there’s some piece of the story you’re missing,” Rose says. “Not that that excuses his behavior, which was just appalling by the way, but maybe there’s more to the story—or to him—than you know. And in that case, he owes you an explanation."

 

Rey crosses her arms against her check. “Maybe,” she says thoughtfully. “Regardless, I’m not going to be the one to initiate contact first. He needs to be the one to make the first move and apologize.”

 

Rose nods. “Absolutely.”

 

There’s a thoughtful pause in the friends’ conversation before Rose’s eyebrows go up, and she asks, “So what are you going to do about Calculus?”

 

“I’ll figure it out. I’ve got an A minus in the class right now, so I’ve just got to maintain it by not bombing the final. I think I can do it.”

 

“So, no more tutoring?”

 

Rey shrugs. “Not right now.”

 

Soon after, Rose changes the subject, which Rey is quite grateful for. The conversation about Ben has worn her out. Instead, they talk about the group art project Rose is currently apart of, while munching on the leftover sweets Rey brought home from Niima’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next update will hopefully be Friday. Thanks for reading :)


	23. Chapter 23

 

It’s Thanksgiving, which should be a relaxing day off for Rey. Niima’s is closed today, and Rey has the dorm to herself since Rose went home for the short break.

 

In reality though, the day is not particularly relaxing. Rey has been feeling completely run down all day and all evening. She wants to believe it’s just the mental fatigue of trying to teach herself the latest lesson in Calculus—she hasn’t been over to Ben’s since their argument—mixed with the emotional exhaustion that comes with the radio silence between her and Ben—they haven’t had any contact since that argument either. But there’s this uncomfortable churning feeling in her stomach that she doesn’t think is just a result of her shot nerves, frayed emotions, and the awful T.V. dinner she had tonight. Unfortunately, she suspects she’s getting sick, which would make perfect sense because there’s been a stomach bug going around Niima’s.

 

Rey hasn’t cried anymore, thank goodness. More than anything, she’s just upset that Ben had to ruin what was looking to be such a good thing by jumping to false conclusions. 

~

 

Ben spends his Thanksgiving holed up in his apartment, writing his dissertation. Or at least _trying_ to write it. Really, he’s writing at about half the speed he’s used to writing at because he can’t stop thinking about Rey.

 

She hasn’t contacted him, and per Phasma’s suggestion, he’s been giving her some space. He’s decided he’s going to go over to the Niima’s Saturday night and ask her if she wants to talk after she gets off work. He hopes that if Rey sees him in person, sees just how contrite he is, that maybe she’ll be more willing to open up the avenue of conversation as opposed to if he just texted her asking if they could talk.

 

And then if Rey gives him the chance to talk, he will do exactly what Phasma said to do: apologize profusely and then explain to her all of the experiences that led up to him misinterpreting what he saw between Rey and Poe that night. Hopefully she would understand, and they could at least be friends again. Ben, of course, still wants more, but he will understand if Rey does not. He royally screwed things up, and she shouldn’t have to put up with that.

 

He falls asleep that night, passed out on his couch with his laptop warming his stomach. In his dreams, he seems himself walking up to Rey at the bar just as he did last Friday night. She’s talking to someone—a man—though he can’t make out who it is. She looks just as she did when she was interacting with Poe Dameron, and it makes Ben’s stomach ache, but he keeps making his way toward her. And when he finally gets to where she’s sitting, he sees that somehow it’s _him_ she’s been talking to the whole time.

 

 

Saturday evening, Ben gets dressed, putting on jeans and a sweater. It’s the first time since Tuesday that he’s left his apartment or worn anything other than sweatpants and old t-shirts. It feels good to wear _real_ clothes, and in a weird way, it gives Ben an ounce more of confidence, and he can use all the confidence he can muster because he’s practically vibrating with nervous energy.

 

When he pulls up to the coffee shop, he recalls the first time he came here, the time he discovered that Rey worked here. She had been so pleasantly surprised to see him then, and he nervously wonders how she’ll react to seeing him now.

 

He doesn’t immediately see her when he enters the establishment.

 

 _Maybe she’s in the kitchen in the back_ , he thinks.

 

While waiting for her to return, he orders a coffee—just a normal coffee, not his usual complicated order—and sits at a table. Ben sips the coffee slowly, keeping his eyes pinned to the door leading to the back area with the kitchen.

 

She’s still not out from the back by the time Ben’s finished his coffee, and this paranoid thought implants in Ben’s brain that maybe she knows he there, so she’s avoiding him. It doesn’t really make sense, he knows. His eyes have been glued to that door basically since he’s arrived, so he would have seen her peaking out.

 

He gets up, tosses his empty coffee into a garbage can, and approaches the counter again. The worker, a tall and lean man with platinum blond hair who’s around Ben’s age, frowns when Ben gets to the counter.

 

“Is everything okay, sir? Was your coffee up to your liking?”

 

Ben reminds himself that he can appear quite intimidating to strangers and softens his facial expression.

 

“The coffee was great,” Ben replies. “I was just wondering…is Rey working tonight?”

 

The man’s frown disappears and his expression softens into one of sympathy. “No, unfortunately she’s not.”

 

“But she usually works on Saturdays, right?”

 

The man nods. “That’s correct. Rey’s actually sick right now. We’ve had a nasty bug going around here, and it seems she’s its latest victim.”

 

Ben feels simultaneously relieved that she’s not avoiding her in the back and awful because she’s sick.

 

“How long has she been sick?” he asks.

 

The man shrugs. “I haven’t seen her since Monday, but I know she took a morning shift on Tuesday to cover for someone else who was sick earlier in the week.”

 

Ben sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Okay, thank you.”

 

“No problem,” the man replies, looking curiously at Ben.

 

As Ben turns around to make his way to the door, his eyes drop down to the pastry display case. The corners of his lips twitch upward and then his stomach involuntarily rumbles when he spots the apple fritters, and he decides to get one for the road.

 

Once he’s back in his car, Ben pulls out his phone and texts Rey. He had wanted to talk to her in person, but if she’s sick, she’ll need her rest. At the same time, he doesn’t want to go so long without contacting her that things are permanently marred. So, a text it is.

 

He spends about ten minutes in the parking lot, typing and re-typing, reading and re-reading the text until he’s satisfied with it. Before he presses ‘send,’ he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

 

 _Please let this be the right thing to do,_ he thinks.

He presses send and then starts his car.

 

~

 

It’s been about thirty-six hours of gastrointestinal torture, but Rey has finally managed to eat some crackers without barfing them back up. She still feels awful—and when Rose comes home tomorrow morning, Rey’s going to ask her to drive her to the emergency room—but she considers being able to munch on crackers a tiny victory.

 

She’s just taken her latest dosage of medicine—it’s just an over-the-counter cold and flu nighttime medication that is left over from when Rose got the flu two years ago—and she’s already beginning to feel sleepy.

 

Just as she starts to doze off, her phone buzzes. Without even opening her eyes, she reaches her arm out to her nightstand where her phone is located. Squinting at it with one open eye, she sees that Ben has texted her.

 

Her hands are practically shaking—whether from the chills, nerves, or a mixture of both, Rey’s not sure—as she unlocks her phone and reads the text.

 

_Hey Rey. I stopped by Niima’s tonight to see you and was really sorry to hear that you were sick. I hope you feel better soon, and when you do, I’d like to talk if you’d be okay with that._

The sleepy haze of the medicine is starting to blur the edges of her consciousness, and she knows she’s in no condition to send an adequate response right now, so she returns her phone to her nightstand for the time being.

 

She can’t help but smile, though, as she closes her eyes once more, and she feels the ice around her heart begin to thaw.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so bummed that we're approaching the end of this fic (only a few more chapters). I know it's far from perfect, but it's something I worked quite hard on and thoroughly enjoyed writing. I have about a million other ideas floating in my head, but I'm not sure if I have the time to actually bring them to life with school going on.
> 
> Regardless, it has been an absolute delight reading all your comments, and I'm so excited to share the last few chapters with y'all. Next update will likely be Monday.


	24. Chapter 24

Ben sits in his corner of the tutoring lab, reading his book and trying to ignore the occasional giggle that comes from where Poe Dameron is currently sitting. Every now and then, Ben will look up and glare daggers at Poe who seems to be flirting with every single person within a five-foot radius of him. Poe, of course, doesn’t notice Ben giving him the death stare because he’s too busy making everyone around him swoon, but it satisfies Ben just the same to look at Poe with such disdain.

 

It’s Thursday now, six days since Ben texted Rey, and she still hasn’t texted him back. Ben has even called Niima’s a few times to see if she’s there. Each time he does, they tell him she’s still out sick, and Ben is starting to believe that her coworkers are lying for her. He has half a mind to go drive by the place to see if her car’s there, but he knows that might be crossing the line into stalker territory, and ultimately, if she _is_ avoiding him, then there’s really no point in trying to mend things. He can’t force her to listen to him, and he wouldn’t want to do that either.

 

As his mother says, he’s made his bed and now he has to lie in it.

 

Ben has just returned his attention to his novel after leveling a particularly harsh glare at Dameron when the tutoring doors swing open. Without even raising his head, Ben lifts his eyes to see the new arrival. His heart stops in his chest when he sees who it is.

 

_Rey._

She’s looking directly at him, her expression nervous and unsure. He smiles gently at her and motions for her to come over by him.

 

The room is still loud with conversation and with giggles, but Ben only seems to hear Rey’s footsteps as she approaches him. Her hesitant expression never wavers, and Ben tries to convey encouragement through his own look, because he’s almost afraid she’s going to turn around mid-step and run out the room.

 

When she reaches him, Rey finally returns his smile.

_This is a good sign,_ he thinks.

 

Rey sits in a chair across from him and places her folded hands atop the table. It’s all very formal looking.

 

~

 

“Hey,” she says softly.

 

“Hey,” he replies. “How—how are you feeling?”

 

Rey groans. “Not great. This is my first day going back to class since last Wednesday.”

 

Ben’s eyebrows shoot up. “Seriously?” he asks, his voice laced with concern.

 

“Yeah, I had the flu. It was bad.” She shakes her head as if she’s trying to rid it of the awful memories from the last week—memories of her clutching the toilet bowl for dear life as she vomits her guts up, memories of Rey becoming a human pin cushion as the nurse in the emergency room attempted to find a vein so that she could collect blood

 

“Rey, that’s so awful. I’m sorry.”

 

“Yeah,” she huffs. “And now I’ve fallen so far behind in Calculus, I don’t know what’s going on anymore.”

 

“Do you…need help?”

 

She nods, allowing herself a shaky smile.

 

She had done a lot of debating with herself before finally making the decision to return to the tutoring lab.  Honestly, up until a couple hours ago, Rey wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to see Ben. She wasn’t furious with him anymore (his text had helped with that), but she wasn’t okay with what happened between them either. His reaction that night had been completely unacceptable, after all. But she was tired of holding onto her anger, and she _desperately_ needed help with Calculus. So, she had taken a deep breath and decided she’d make her way to the tutoring center to face Ben and see where things went.

 

Ben closes his novel and pushes it to the side. “Okay, let’s get started then.”

 

As usual, Ben’s incredibly helpful, but today he’s also very cautious with her. Each time he goes over a mistake she’s made or when she asks him to explain something over again, he does so in mildest tone of voice, keeping his wary dark eyes on her.

 

When it’s time for Rey to go, she’s caught up a little, but she’s still got a lot more catching up to do. She had come prepared to ask Ben this question if it wound up being necessary, but actually _asking_ him still makes her stomach twist itself into knots.

 

She stands from her chair and takes a deep breath before speaking.

 

“I know I haven’t been showing up to our actual tutoring sessions,” Rey begins. She works hard to maintain eye contact with Ben, who is looking at her quite intently. “But do you think it’d be possible for us to start back up again?”

 

“Yeah,” Ben say, nodding. “Definitely.”

 

Rey’s eyes begin to prickle with tears of relief, and she’s forced to swallow a lump down in her throat. “Okay, great. Thank you.”

 

“Of course,” he tells her.

 

She pauses a moment and then asks, “Can we start back up tonight?”

 

“Sure,” he answers immediately.

 

A loud cackle comes from where Poe Dameron and his groupies are sitting, and Rey and Ben both turn their heads at the noise. It’s just Poe making some pretty undergrad laugh. When she and Ben both look back at one another, Ben’s face is tense and flushed. He flippantly rolls his eyes, trying to play off his obvious aggravation at Poe’s antics and the awkwardness of the moment.

 

Rey laughs a little at his reaction, and she’s pleased when the right side of Ben’s mouth twitches upward.

 

“Well, I’ll see you tonight then,” Rey says.

 

“Yeah, I’ll see you tonight.”

 

Rey heads toward the door, overall contented with how their interaction had gone. She’s about halfway to the door when a familiar voice—a voice that’s _not_ Ben’s—calls her name. She turns around and sees Poe Dameron looking over at her.

 

“Hey Rey. Good to see you again,” he says, grinning that flirtatious grin of his.

 

She offers him the smallest of smiles. “Good to see you too.” And then she turns back to Ben and waves. “Thanks again, Ben. I’ll see you later tonight.”

 

She holds his gaze long enough to see what looks like a triumphant gleam in his eye.

 

~

 

When Rey comes over later that night, she and Ben work until almost one in the morning. When they’re done, he fully expects Rey to go home. She’s shown no sign of wanting to talk about what happened between them just under two weeks ago, and as much as Ben wants to talk about it with her, he doesn’t want to put added stress on her now that she’s so behind in class.

 

So, Rey really surprises him when she brings up his text from last week.

 

“Your text made me smile,” she says softly. “I’m sorry I didn’t respond. I wasn’t in any condition to give you an adequate response.”

 

“It’s okay,” he tells her.

 

“But now that I am feeling better, I think you’re right: we should talk.”

 

“We don’t have to do that tonight,” Ben says, waving off her suggestion. “It’s already late.”

 

Rey shakes her head. “No, I think we should. I don’t think it’s right to keep studying together without talking about what happened.”

 

“If you’re sure,” Ben says uncertainly.

 

“I am,” she replies, before pointing into the living room. “Couch?”

 

“Yeah,” he says.

 

When they’re settled comfortably on the couch— _in their usual spots_ , Ben thinks appreciatively—Ben clears his throat and begins.

 

“I shouldn’t have jumped to conclusions when I saw you and Poe together. It was so, _so_ stupid.” He shakes his head, feeling embarrassed by the memory. “I’m ashamed of the way I acted, particularly how I spoke to you afterward. You have every right to be pissed at me.”

 

“I’m not pissed at you anymore,” Rey tells him.

 

Ben exhales, relieved by this information. “Good. I’d understand if you were, but I’m glad you’re not.”

 

“I just…” Rey starts, before trailing off. She looks down at the throw pillow she’s clutching to her chest and squeezes it tight. “Never mind.”

 

“Go on. Say it. Whatever you have to say, however mean it is, I deserve to hear it.”

 

She looks up at him. Her eyes are dry, but there’s a sadness in them that she doesn’t bother hiding. “I just don’t understand how you thought I was interested in _Poe._ He’s such a cliché. I was interested in _you._ You’re kind and interesting and smart…and handsome.”

 

She holds his gaze despite the red that now tinges her cheeks. Ben blushes at her comment as well, but he, too, keeps eye contact with her.

 

“I want to explain to you why I thought that,” Ben says. “It doesn’t excuse how I behaved, but it might help you to understand.”

 

“Okay,” she nods.

 

Ben runs a hand through his hair, takes a deep breath, and starts explaining.

           

~

           

Rey listens intently as Ben explains his dating history to her. He details all of the rejection he’s faced throughout the years from high school to college to graduate school. She’s surprised to hear that he’s never had a girlfriend and that almost all of the dates he’s been on have ended in the girls rebuffing him because, almost since day one, she’s found Ben charming, though perhaps uncharacteristically so.

 

When he’s done going through all of this with her, he exhales and looks at her anxiously, clearly waiting for her reaction to all of this.

 

“Thank you for sharing all of that with me,” she says. “I’m sure that’s not something you enjoy talking about.”

 

Ben chuckles nervously. “No, it’s not.”

 

“You’re right, though. It doesn’t excuse what happened, but it does explain it. And now that I know everything, I think I’d just like to start over...on the condition that you never behave like that with me again.”

 

The tension Ben’s clearly been holding throughout his entire body melts away. “I promise you I won't.”

 

“Good,” Rey replies, before she’s overcome by a large yawn.

 

Ben reaches for his phone on the coffee table and checks the time.

 

“Shit, ” he mutters. “It’s almost two in the morning. Sorry.”

 

Rey yawns again and stretches her arms up in the air and extends her legs outward, in an attempt to get the blood flowing in her body again after sitting on Ben’s couch for so long.

 

“It’s okay,” she says when the yawn finally subsides. “Tonight was good. It was…necessary, don’t you think?”

 

“Yeah,” Ben says quietly. “I think so.”

 

Rey stands from the couch and goes to get her backpack from where she’s left it on the kitchen table.

 

“Hey, Rey?”

 

She turns around, and her stomach coils at the once again nervous expression on Ben’s face.

 

“Since it’s so late, did you…want to stay over?”

 

She thinks about it for a moment. Frankly, she’s so tired, she’d love nothing more than collapsing on Ben’s couch and passing out within the next fifteen minutes. But there’s still a lot of residual emotions bubbling beneath the surface between them. They’ve made up, sure, but Rey doesn’t think that’s a good idea—at least not tonight.

 

~

 

Inviting her was a big gamble, especially so soon after what had happened between them—Ben knows this. But there she had been, sitting on his couch, yawning and looking exhausted, and he just felt compelled to offer, to extend one last olive branch. If she says ‘no,’ Ben will understand. They’ve only _just_ decided to start over (whatever exactly that means), and it might be too early in their ‘starting over’ for her to feel comfortable staying the night at his place.

 

“I think I’ll pass for tonight. Thank you for the offer though.”

 

She smiles at him in this tender way that tells him she really does appreciate his invitation and that he shouldn’t be upset by her turning it down. In return, Ben nods and offers her a small smile in return.

 

 _No hard feelings_ , he thinks.

 

He walks her down to the parking lot, though tonight he chooses not to walk her all the way to her car and instead remains on the bottom step. He doesn’t want to get to physically close to her—for either of their sakes.

 

About twenty minutes later, Ben climbs into bed. Overall, it was a good day, but he’s still exhausted from everything that’s happened. Just as he begins to doze off, his phone vibrates from where it it on his nightstand. He grabs it and sees Rey has sent him a message.

 

_I’m home. Thanks again for tonight :)_

A warm feeling washes over him, and he can’t help but smile like an idiot as he reads her short message over and over again. The best part of her text isn’t the smiley face or the ‘thanks,’ but the text itself because Rey had still remembered to text him despite Ben forgetting to ask her to.

 

He falls asleep feeling better than he has in over a week.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited about the next couple chapters!! The next update will hopefully be Thursday.
> 
> Thank you for all your comments, particularly to the lovely person who left a comment on one of my own comments on another fic. I didn't want want to reply there and start a whole thread, but your words were incredibly kind and much appreciated.


	25. Chapter 25

Thanks to many favors people have owed Rey throughout the years of her working at Niima’s, Rey is able to switch shifts with a co-worker so that she works a double shift on Saturday while not having to work at all on Sunday.

 

Because of this, she and Ben arrange to study all day Sunday together. When she gets to his house in the early afternoon, Ben leads her to the kitchen table which, though usually clean, is currently scattered with various papers.

 

“What's all this?” Rey asks as she approaches their usual study spot.

 

Ben picks up one of the pieces of paper from the table and hands it to her. The top of the paper reads CALCULUS FINAL-SPRING 2017.

 

She looks up and over at Ben who is looking at her with an eagerness in his dark eyes.

 

“I was friends with the guy who used to be Snoke’s TA,” Ben starts, before sort of shaking his head self-consciously. “Well, I was _friendly_ with the guy. He graduated last year, but I emailed him and he was nice enough to send me Snoke’s final exams from the past six semesters.”

 

Rey wants to throw her arms around Ben, but she manages to restrain herself. She cannot, however, restrain the gigantic smile that spreads across her face. When Ben sees her smile, he grows more confident, his posture straightening and his own face stretching into a smile.

 

“I’ve looked through them all, and there’s really not much difference between any of them,” he tells her, an animated twinkle in his eye. “I figure we can work through all of these, and once we’re done, you’ll be in perfect shape for your final.”

 

“Ben, this is really above and beyond. _Thank you._ ”

 

“You’re welcome,” Ben says casually like it’s nothing.

 

They just stand there for a moment, Rey still wanting to hug Ben and Ben looking like he’s waiting for her to determine what they do next. Finally, Rey laughs a little awkwardly and opens her arms to him.

 

Slowly and with great hesitance, Ben closes the space between them and hugs her back.

 

“Thank you so much,” she says again, while in his arms.

 

“Think of it as my way of trying to make up for all that’s happened,” Ben says, into her ear.

 

By now, it’s the longest they’ve ever heard hugged, and Rey finds that she doesn’t want to let go. His arms feel strong around her body and she finds herself reveling in the way his breath tickles her ear and sends shivers down her spine. Also, he smells _amazing_.

 

There’s more to the hug, Rey knows, than her thanking him for getting these exams for her. It’s a way of closing the door on all the crap that’s happened between them.

 

When they eventually pull apart, Rey opens her mouth to say something—though what she plans to say she’s not quite sure—when Ben claps his hands together and says, “Let’s get started!”

 

~

 

While they are hugging, the longing to kiss Rey returns in full force. She feels so right in his arms, her lithe body fitting perfectly inside his embrace, that Ben wants nothing more than to pull apart the tiniest bit, lift up her chin, and press his lips to hers. Of course he can’t actually do this, though, so when they do pull apart, Ben redirects her attention immediately to tutoring.

 

Around dinner time, he steps out of the room for a minute and makes a call. Thirty minutes later, a pizza is delivered to Ben’s apartment, much to Rey’s surprised delight. She tries to pay him for her portion of the pizza, but Ben rejects her offer. He’s doing everything he can, trying to go above and beyond to make up for what happened between them, to show her how deeply sorry he is.

 

They take a quick break from tutoring to eat the pizza, relaxing on the couch instead of the kitchen table since it’s scattered with old exams, notes, and textbooks.

 

Things are feeling exactly as they did before Ben’s foolish misunderstanding, much to Ben’s relief. They laugh and talk easily to one another. When the conversation turns to plans over the holidays, Rey reveals that over the break she stays in town and sublets Finn’s apartment for the month.

 

“I stay at his apartment and work at Niima’s and watch B.B.  I make a lot of money during the month of December,” she tells him.

 

“That works out perfectly,” Ben says thoughtfully.

 

“Yeah,” Rey says. “Sometimes I’ll spend a few days with Finn and his family or Rose and hers, but most of the time, I’m just here. What about you?”

 

Ben rolls his eyes at his situation. “I go home for ten days usually,” he tells her. “It’s about all I can take. My whole family stays at my parents house over the holidays, and I always sort of feel like the odd one out because I’m the only child. Well, not _child_ , but you know what I mean.”

 

“Yeah,” Rey replies.

 

“And my mom has these gigantic parties. One on Christmas Eve for her political friends and then one on Christmas evening for our family. And then a week later she has another party at the house for New Years Eve for basically anyone who wants to show up. It’s just _a lot._ ”

 

“Sounds like it.”

 

When they’re done eating, they return to studying. Overall, Rey is doing really well as she works through the exams, so Ben mostly just sits back and watches her work.

 

When Rey really concentrates, her eyes get all squinty and she bites her bottom lip. During some of their lighter study sessions, Ben would poke gentle fun at her expression, but now, he just enjoys the look, finding it incredibly endearing. Today Ben discovers another habit of Rey’s: she twirls her hair. Usually, she’d come from work, and her hair would be up in a ponytail, but today, she wears her hair down and absentmindedly twirls it while she works through problems. The action makes Ben want to run his own fingers through her hair, and he wonders if there’s still a chance of that happening one day. He’s hopeful but not overall confident.

 

At the end of the night as they’re walking to her car, he notices Rey is strangely quiet. He starts to fear that maybe he had misinterpreted things being completely mended between them, but when they reach the bottom of the stairs, she stops and turns to him. She clasps her hands together in front of her and rocks back and forth on her heels for a moment.

 

 _She’s nervous about something_ , he observes, as he feels his own nerves kicking in.

 

“Rose is exempt from almost all of her finals,” Rey says. “The only final she has to take is for her Art History class, and that final is on Wednesday.”

 

“Okay,” Ben says patiently, waiting to see where she’s going with this.

 

“She has a habit of staying up all night before her finals. I love her, but it makes it really difficult to sleep, and since my Calculus final is also on Wednesday I want to be able to get a good night’s rest.”

 

Ben thinks he knows where she’s going.

 

They had agreed to forgo Monday’s tutoring session in favor of a short review session on Tuesday, the night before her final. It would make perfect sense for Rey to stay over at his place Tuesday night so that she could get a sufficient amount of sleep before her final.

 

“You’re more than welcome to stay over Tuesday night if you want to,” he tells her, phrasing his words as a statement instead of a question, thinking this makes the whole situation more casual.

 

Rey’s eyes light up and she flashes him that toothy grin he’s grown to like so much. “That would be amazing, Ben.”

 

“Great,” he says. Her happiness is infectious, and Ben smiles back at her.

 

“Thank you. For this and for everything. Today has been…really nice.”

 

“It has,” he agrees.

 

“I’ll see you Tuesday then,” Rey says, before practically skipping to her car.

 

Ben watches her get in car and as she drives away, she rolls down her window and waves at him. He waves back, feeling content in a way he hasn’t felt in a very long time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ben's working really hard to make things right! He's so precious, and I love it.
> 
> Next update will be Monday! :)


	26. Chapter 26

After class Tuesday but before she has to leave for babysitting, Rey returns to her dorm to pack an overnight bag. When opens the door, she sees Rose napping, presumably gearing up for her all-nighter.

 

Rey tries to pack as quietly as possible, but when she sees Rose stir in her bed, she knows she’s woken Rose up.

 

“What’re you doing?” Rose mumbles, turning over in her bed to face Rey.

 

“Packing a bag. I’m not coming home tonight.”

 

Rose raises an eyebrow and lifts herself up on her elbows. “Are you staying at Finn’s?”

 

“No. Ben’s.”

 

“ _Ben’s?”_ Rose exclaims.

 

Rey had told Rose that she and Ben had made up, and Rose had been thrilled for her. Rey hadn’t, however, told her roommate about her plan to stay over at Ben’s Tuesday night.

 

“Yes,” Rey says.

 

“So, you two really are all good, then?”

 

“Yeah, we are,” she replies, turning from Rose to try and hide her smile.

 

“Good, I’m glad.”

 

“Me too,” Rey says softly.

 

~

 

“Rey,” Ben says, thumping his palms on the kitchen table. “I think you’re going to ace this final.”

 

They had just finished a quick review session, and Ben is completely satisfied with how Rey had performed. Rey is clearly pleased with her performance too, based on the proud smile displayed on her face.

 

“Yeah, as long as I don’t freeze up.”

 

“You won’t,” Ben assures her. “This stuff is basically muscle memory for you at this point.”

 

“Thanks to you,” she says, nudging his shoulder with hers. He enjoys the playful gesture and bumps her shoulder back.

 

 Rey laughs at the retaliation and then her face grows slightly serious. “I owe you, you know.”

 

Ben looks at her curiously. “Why?”

 

“I didn’t come from Niima’s, so I wasn’t able to bring you any fritters.”

 

 _I stopped doing this for the fritters a long time ago,_ Ben thinks.

 

He replies, “Don’t worry about it.”

 

“Well, how about after finals are over, we go out for drinks, and you actually let me treat you this time?”

 

Ben chuckles, “Okay, deal.”

 

Rey rises from the table to grab a bottle of water from his fridge. He likes watching Rey comfortably move around his place like she belongs there.

 

When she returns to the table, he asks about the sleeping situation. “So, are you going to accept my offer to take my bed tonight?”

 

Rey shakes her head and grins. “Nope. I like your couch. I think I’ve grown attached to it.”

 

He laughs at her comment, but in the back of his mind, he can’t help but have a small hope that one day she might opt to sleep in his bed…with him in it too.

 

“Okay, fine. If you insist.”

 

“I do,” Rey says, pretending to be haughty as she crosses her arms.

 

Rey takes a quick shower in his bathroom while he sets up the couch for her, grabbing blankets and a pillow from the hall closet. When she walks back into the room, Ben looks up and sees her hair is down and wet and she’s wearing a t-shirt and thin cotton shorts. His eyes unintentionally rove across her body before fixating on her bare legs. They’re so lean and long, and he wonders what it would be like to run his hands up and down them and feel her smooth skin as well as the taut muscle underneath. They’re definitely not there yet though, he reminds himself. Then his mind wanders to what it would be like to have her legs wrapped around his waist, and he has to will the thought away because they’re definitely, _definitely_ not there yet.

           

When he looks back up at her, she’s blushing a little and he hopes he hasn’t embarrassed her with his staring.

 

“Sorry,” he mutters, cringing and running a hand across his jaw.

 

Rather than ignore his gaping, she explains her wardrobe choice by saying, “I know it’s December, but you keep it warm here.”

 

“Yeah, I like it toasty,” he says, thankfully beginning to feel the awkwardness dissipate from the moment.

 

“Yeah, it’s like a greenhouse in here,” she comments, walking toward him, or rather, toward the couch. “Thanks for setting all of this up for me.”

 

“Of course. And try not to sneak out in the morning, okay? I’ve got a surprise for you.”

 

Her hands go to her hips, but she smiles. “I wasn’t _sneaking out_ last time.”

 

“Fine,” he says smirking at her pretend indignation. “Just don’t leave right when you wake up.”

 

“I won’t.”

 

She settles onto the couch and pulls the thinner of the two blankets he’s provided her over her body.

 

“Comfortable?” he asks.

 

“Very,” she replies, before resting her head on the pillow. “Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome. Good night.”

 

“Night, Ben.”

 

~

 

Rey wakes up in the morning to the sound of something crackling and the smell of something delicious. She opens her eyes and looks over into the kitchen where she sees Ben standing in front of his stove, cooking something that smells like bacon.

 

His back is to her and he’s already dressed for the day in his typical dark blue jeans and a navy flannel shirt. She watches him for a few minutes, enjoying the sight of him moving with ease around his kitchen. But then something, probably the bacon grease popping out of the pan and burning him, makes him jump.

 

 _"Shit_!” he exclaims, and then lower, “Shit.”

 

Ben turns around, clearly to see if he’s woken her up, and Rey doesn’t have the chance to put her head back down and pretend to be asleep. She smiles somewhat sheepishly at him.

 

“Morning.”

 

“Good morning,” he says, eyeing her carefully. “How long have you been awake?”

 

“Not long,” she replies, sitting up on the couch. “So, is this the surprise?”

 

Ben grins. “Yeah. The eggs and pancakes are already made. The bacon’ll be done in a second. I hope you like breakfast food.”

 

“I love breakfast food,” she tells him.

 

“Great. What do you like to drink? Orange juice? Milk?”

 

“Milk, please,” Rey says.

 

She gets up from the couch and sits down at the kitchen table where two plates have already been placed. A moment later, Ben places a full glass of milk beside Rey’s plate. She takes a big gulp from the glass, closing her eyes and savoring the taste. When she opens her eyes, she sees Ben watching her, intrigued.

 

“Thirsty, huh?” he says, a little smirk forming on his lips.

 

“Yes,” she says, blushing a smidge at his attention.

 

It turns out that Ben can make a great breakfast. The pancakes are the perfect thickness, the scrambled eggs aren’t too runny, and the bacon is cooked exactly how she likes it—still a little soft and not too crispy. When she compliments him on the bacon, his eyes light up.

 

"It’s how I like it too,” he tells her with a full mouth of pancake. “I’m the only one in my family that’s likes it that way. Everyone else likes it crispy.”

 

Rey’s face scrunches up in disgust. “That’s how my foster father liked it too.”

 

“Well, you can come over any time and I’ll make you bacon just like this.”

 

“How about when we watch all those horror movies of yours, you make us bacon instead of popcorn?” she says, laughing.

 

Ben’s eyes widen in surprise. “You still wanted to do that?”

 

“Yeah, definitely.”

 

He looks happy and also… _relieved._ Rey guesses that he’s still unsure about them after what happened. She wants to assure him once and for all that she cares about him and _for him_ , which is why she’s pleased when he decides to walk her to her car this morning, despite it being daylight outside, because she has a small gesture she wants to make. Nothing too big—there’s time for that later—but _something._

 

~

 

The sun’s completely out by the time Rey is ready to leave, but Ben walks her down to her car anyway. Just as she did on Sunday night, when he stops at the bottom step, Rey does too.

 

“Thank—“

 

“You don’t have to keep saying ‘thank you,’ Rey,” he tells her.

 

She rolls her eyes. “I’m not going to stop until you stop doing nice things.”

 

She then opens her arms to hug him goodbye, and he more than happily obliges. They hold each other for a moment that Ben would describe as just short of charged. It’s not quite electric, but there’s definitely _something_ in the air between them.

 

“Good luck today,” he says into her ear as they hug.

 

She starts to say ‘thank you,’ but he loudly clears his throat and she stops herself, laughing a little instead. As they pull apart from one another, Rey surprises Ben by pressing her lips softly to his cheek and giving him a quick kiss.

 

In a completely unironic way, ‘thank you’ starts to slip from his lips, but he stops himself. It’s not something you say after someone kisses you and it’s not at all smooth. Instead, he just smiles, ignoring his warm cheeks, and Rey just smiles back, her own cheeks pink.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE KISS IS COMING, I PROMISE!!
> 
> The next update will be a little later in the week--hopefully Friday, but possibly Saturday.
> 
> I just started a short fic called "If You Change Your Mind (I'm the First in Line)." It's a 5+1 piece with Rey going on five bad dates and one good one. Please check it out if you're interested :)


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, guys...

Ben gets a text from Rey on Thursday afternoon asking if he wants to go out for drinks Friday night after she finishes babysitting. Of course, Ben accepts, and they make arrangements for him to pick her up at her dorm Friday night and then go to this new bar neither of them has been to yet.

           

Tonight, Ben knows, is a big night for them. Similarly to the last time they hung out, neither have referred to tonight as a date, but Ben’s certain they’re both thinking of the night as such. And after the reassurance of that sweet kiss on Wednesday morning, Ben is certain that when Rey said she wanted to start over, she didn’t just want to go back to being friends; she still wants _more_ just as he does. And that means tonight he’s going to kiss her. No matter what, he’s going to kiss her.

 

Ben can feel the anticipation inside him building to a crescendo as he walks up the steps to her dorm room and then knocks on the door. He hears Rey talking to someone—presumably Rose, her roommate—on the other side of the door and listens as the voices giggle.

 

The ghost of a laugh is still on her face as she opens the door. “Hey!”

 

“Hey back,” he greets, unable to stop the eager smile spreading across his face.

 

A short, black haired girl pops up behind Rey and says, “Hi!”

 

Rey steps out of the way and motions to the girl. “This is Rose. She wanted to meet you.”

 

Ben sticks out his hand, but Rose is apparently the hugging type. She wraps her arms around him and Ben, somewhat reluctantly, leans down and hugs her back.

 

"Be good to her,” Rose somehow manages to whisper in Ben’s ear despite their dramatic height difference.

 

“I will,” he promises, as they pull back.

 

Rose is clearly happy with this answer because she smiles cheekily at him before turning to Rey and winking very obviously.

 

“You guys have fun tonight,” Rose tells them.

 

“We will,” Rey replies, before slipping her purse over the shoulder and heading out the door.

 

“You look nice,” Ben comments as they walk down the steps that lead back to the parking lot.

 

She’s wearing dark blue skinny jeans and a baggy white sweater with an olive green jacket over it. Completing the look are a red and white plaid scarf and brown boots. Her hair is also down, and he’s finding he really likes it that way.

 

“Thanks,” she replies and then looks over at him. “You’re wearing the same shirt you wore the first time we met.”

           

He chuckles. “I am? How do you remember that?”

 

They get down the stairs and turn left toward the parking lot. Rey shrugs. “I guess you made an impression.”

 

“You thought I was weird, didn’t you?” he says.

           

“Maybe a little,” Rey answers, laughing. “But not _bad_ weird.”

 

Her hand, presumably by accident, brushes against his. He wants to grab it, but they’re almost to his car and it seems sort of pointless at this point.

 

When they get to the bar, Ben tries to buy her drink for her, but then she gives him a death stare and he grudgingly lets her buy their first round.

 

The bar, which just opened up about a few months ago, is a typical college bar with signed football jerseys and big beer signs hung up on the walls. Its crowded, which is to be expected on a late Friday night, and half the people in the bar are wearing ugly Christmas sweaters. Ben’s never quite understood that fad—or most fads for that matter.

           

The inside of the bar is packed, so they go out to the back porch and sit down at a small round table that has a large heat lamp nearby. They sit close side by side, instead of across from each other, with his right knee just touching her left one.

 

            As she takes her first sip of her drink—tonight it’s an Old Fashioned—she looks over at him and offers him a shy smile, which he can’t help but be surprised by. It alleviates a little of his own anxiety, though, knowing that she’s likely just as nervous about the night as he is.

 

They both know this is the night everything’s going to change. It’s just a matter of making that change.

 

“So, when do you find out about your grade?” Ben asks.

 

“Snoke said they’d be up early this weekend,” Rey says, wringing her hands on top of the table.

 

Instinctively, Ben puts his hand on top of her hands to still them. “I’m sure you did great.”

 

Rey looks down at his hand on hers and then looks back up at him.

 

“Thank you, Ben,” she says, and then she clasps her hand with his.

 

Her hand in his is warm, and he can feel that warmth spread throughout his entire body.

 

~

 

Tonight, Rey consciously makes the decision to drink her drink slowly. She wants to be completely present, and she doesn’t want to forget anything that is happening or anything that may happen.

 

They talk about everything from books and movies to their favorite classes to childhood memories. Rey learns that aside from the horror genre, Ben really loves documentaries and non-fiction books. She hasn’t seen many documentaries, but she has read the creative non-fiction novel,  _In Cold Blood_ by Truman Capote, and when she shares this with Ben, his eyes go big with excitement.

 

“I’ve probably read that book six or seven times!” he exclaims. “It’s one of my all-time favorites!”

 

They learn that they had the same English Composition professor, who gave them both Bs because they apparently didn’t “pop” as writers, whatever that meant.

 

It also turns out that both of them had their favorite birthday when they were fourteen. For Rey, it was the first and only time she went to Disneyland. Finn’s family had taken her, and to this day, she considers it one of the best days of her life. In contrast, Ben’s fourteenth birthday was spent quietly at home with just him and his parents. Neither had worked that day, and the three of them just hung out at their house in their pajamas, playing board games and watching movies.

 

Rey finds herself hanging on to Ben’s every word, fascinated by everything he’s saying. They’ve talked about personal things before, but tonight he opens up to her in a way she hasn’t yet seen.

 

There’s such a depth to Ben’s eyes when he speaks. His beautiful dark eyes are so expressive, conveying to her everything he’s feeling about the stories and anecdotes he shares. She finds she almost can’t look away from them as he talks. Occasionally though, her eyes do leave his and travel back down to his lips. She recalls the last time they went out. She had found herself admiring them and wondering how they’d feel against her own lips. Tonight, she wonders the same thing, but she has a good feeling that she’ll actually know soon enough.

 

About two hours in, they decide to split an order of loaded cheese fries, and Ben convinces her to let him pay. When he leaves the table to place the order, she checks her phone and sees she’s got an e-mail. It’s from Snoke.

 

She opens the e-mail and sees that Snoke has written to tell the class that their grades are up online. Nerves stir in her stomach as she opens the university app where students can access their grades. Her eyes furiously scan the page, and to her unadulterated delight, she sees an ‘A’ next to Calculus.

 

Rey wants to scream, but that would alarm to people around her, so instead she sits in chair and waits patiently for Ben to return.

           

When he finally gets back, he must see that something is up from the expression on her face.

 

He sits down beside her, places the buzzer he’s gotten for their fries on the table, and asks, “What’s up? Everything okay?”

 

She nods, inhaling deeply so that she won’t shout out her good news.

 

“What is it, then?”

 

“I got an A!” she exclaims, throwing her arms around his neck and hugging him tightly.

 

He laughs, sounding just as joyous as she feels, and wraps her arms tightly around her back. “That’s great, Rey. I knew you would!”

 

They just hold each other for a long moment, her head resting on his shoulder and his arms squeezing her middle. Eventually, Ben begins to slowly pull away, but Rey keeps her arms wrapped around his neck. When they’re able to look at each other, Rey holds his gaze for a second before leaning back in and kissing him.

           

Her lips are gentle against his—not at all demanding, just tender and sweet. He doesn’t immediately kiss her back, but then she can feel his lips, those amazing full lips, tentatively start to move against hers and his hands go to her waist, squeezing a little.

 

It’s the perfect first kiss, really. It’s sensual without being overtly sexual, and she’s able to savor the moment without being lost in a haze of heady hormones.

 

She pulls back slowly, finally removing her arms from around his neck.

 

Ben looks completely dumbfounded, as if someone hit him over the head with her massive Calculus textbook.

 

“That was okay, right?” she asks softly.

 

“Yes,” he says emphatically. “Yeah, it was…more than okay.”

 

A gigantic smile spreads across her face. “Good.”

 

He opens his mouth the slightest bit and then closes it. Then he opens it again, but no words come out.

 

“What is it?” she asks.

 

He has this endearingly bashful look on his face, and Rey has to stop herself from cupping his face in her hands and kissing him again.

 

“I…I guess when I pictured this happening, I wanted to—I mean…I thought I’d be the one to kiss you.”

 

Her smile softens, becomes something that’s somehow both shy and flirtatious.

 

“You still can,” she says.

 

~

 

Her words are a challenge to Ben, and he accepts her challenge by crashing his lips to hers.

 

Unlike their first kiss, which was sweet and slow and restrained, this kiss is passionate and hungry and… _less restrained._ His lips nudge hers open and he immediately deepens the kiss, their tongues quickly tangling together. When he does this, her hands, which had previously been at her sides, reach up to his shirt and grasp it, pulling him closer.

 

The feeling of her against him is _everything_.

Ben knows they can’t kiss _too_ passionately or for too long. They are in public, and there are people around. He’s not one for public displays of affection, and he’d be willing to guess that Rey isn’t either.

 

Eventually, their kisses become soft again and quicker until he and Rey finally pull apart.

 

“Wow,” she breathes, releasing his shirt but keep her hands resting on his chest. “That was…”

 

“ _Yeah_ ,” he says, also out of breath. “Yeah.”

 

“I’ve been thinking about what that’d be like since we hung out over fall break.”

 

Ben grins. “Me too. Although, I was afraid that I might have screwed everything up for a moment.”

 

“You’ve more than made it up for it,” Rey says, returning his smile. “And I don’t just mean tonight. I mean with everything.”

 

The buzzer vibrates on the table, breaking them out of their post-kissing haze. Ben scoops it up.

 

“I’ll be right back.”

 

Rey just smiles and nods. He smiles back, feeling completely euphoric about everything that’s happened in the past five minutes

 

An idea pops into Ben’s head as he makes his way to the bar.

 

He picks the fries up from the kitchen area and then goes to the bar.

 

“Can I have two glasses of champagne?” he asks when the bartender looks his way.

 

The bartender pours two flutes of what’s probably insanely cheap champagne and places them on the bar top. He quickly pays before skillfully picking up and balancing both glasses in one hand, while holding the plate of cheese fries in the other.

 

When Rey spots him making his way back to the table, she lets out an infectious laugh.

 

“Champagne?” she exclaims.

 

“To celebrate your A,” he tells her, as he carefully hands Rey her glass before placing his own on the table in front of him.

 

“And to celebrate us?” she suggests, her eyes sparkling.

 

“Sure,” he grins, as they lift their glasses up and toast.

 

~

 

Rey can still taste the champagne on Ben’s lips as they kiss goodnight.

 

“When can I see you again?” he asks as the kiss ends. He sounds so eager and it only endears him to her more.

 

“Well, I’m hanging out with some of my friends tomorrow night before they leave for break. But any time after that when I’m not working, I’d love to hang out. We could start working out way through all of those horror movies?”

 

“I’d love that,” Ben says.

 

“I’ll text you,” she replies, moving a stray piece of hair out of his face. “Thank you for the most incredible night.”

 

“Thank _you_ ,” Ben says, before leaning in to give her one last quick kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay!! I hope this chapter lived up to what you all wanted. I know it puts a big goofy smile on my face :)
> 
> So, there's only one chapter left; however, I've decided to re-work it a little. Because of this and because of my school schedule, I'm not sure when it will be ready and posted. If I had to make a guess, I'd say the earliest would be this upcoming Monday or Tuesday and the latest would be the following Wednesday or Thursday.
> 
> Thank you all for your support over the past 27 chapters. It means more than you know :)


	28. Chapter 28

It’s a week and a few days after their first kiss, and also ten days before Christmas.

 

Rey and Ben spend almost all of their free time together now. While Rey is at work, Ben grinds away at his dissertation, and when she gets off of work, she heads over to Ben’s place.

 

The next time they hung out after their first kiss, Rey had discussed her boundaries with Ben. As neither of them was particularly experienced, Rey suggested they take it slow, and Ben agreed. This meant that at the end of the night, Rey would go back to her own place. Sometimes Rey found it hard to follow this rule, particularly when they were in the middle of a pretty heavy make out session, but she knew it was ultimately for the best.

 

Currently, they were on his couch in the middle of one of those make out sessions, while _The Texas Chainsaw Massacre_ played in the background. They’d alternate between kissing and watching the movie. Particularly, when Rey thought it was getting too scary, she’d turn to Ben and initiate a kiss, which was what was happening right now.

 

Ben let out a soft moan into Rey’s mouth as she ran her nails through his hair and across his scalp. She had quickly learned that while his hair was nice to look at, it was even better to play with. It was especially great when she was able to elicit a reaction out of Ben, like she was doing now.

 

“Rey,” Ben says breathlessly, as he breaks the kiss.

 

“Hm?” she says, peppering kisses across his cheek and his jaw.

 

“I have a proposition for you.”

 

Rey pulls back to look him in the eyes. “What’s that?”

 

“You can totally say no, but—“

 

“Just say it, Ben,” Rey says, smirking at his apparent nervousness.

 

Ben sighs and takes her hands. “How would you feel about coming home with me for Christmas? I’m leaving in a week and staying until the day after New Years, and I know you probably won’t be able to stay that long with work, but I’d be willing to drive you there and back here. That is…if you wanted to come.”

 

Smiling, Rey leans in and kisses Ben softly on the lips before pulling back. “I’d love to.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yes. Absolutely.”

 

Ben’s face breaks out into a gigantic crooked smile. “Awesome!”

 

Rey quirks an eyebrow. “One question though?”

 

“What is it?”

 

“Will I get to meet your elusive uncle?”

 

Ben chuckles as he brushes a few strands of hair away from her face. “If he decides to step out of the woods for a few days, yeah.”

 

“That would just be the cherry on top of what I’m sure will be the best Christmas of my life thus far,” she tells him.

 

“I’ll talk to my mom and see if she can convince him to stop by,” Ben replies, grinning at Rey’s excitement. “Now, you’re sure you can get off of work for a few days?”

 

“I’m sure I can, especially with Niima’s being closed on Christmas Eve and Christmas.”

           

“That would be amazing,” he says, grabbing the sides of her face. “It might be the first Christmas that doesn’t completely suck.”

 

Then, he kisses her and she melts into him once more.

 

A moment later, however, he pulls away. “Rey, Rey—you gotta see this part.”

 

“It’s scary though,” Rey groans, but she gets off his lap all the same.

 

He puts his arm around her and pulls her close to him so that she can snuggle up against him. “Then, come here.”

 

Rey happily obliges.

 

~

 

Early on Christmas Eve, Ben arrives at Finn’s apartment where Rey is staying over the break.

 

He knocks on the door, and moments later, Rey greets him with a big suitcase and a blinding smile.

 

“Merry Almost-Christmas,” he greets. “You ready to head out?”

 

“ _Happy_ Almost-Christmas,” she replies cheekily. “And yes, I am.”

 

Ben takes the rolling suitcase from her, despite her protests, and they make their way back to his car. He puts her luggage in his trunk and then opens the passenger side door to let Rey before walking around to the driver’s side of the car.

 

Once he’s inside the vehicle, he turns to Rey who is looking at him curiously and holding up a small wrapped present.

 

“What is this?” Rey asks.

 

“A pre-Christmas gift.”

 

She frowns and her eyes drop to the present. “I thought we agreed on one present each.”

 

It had been Rey’s suggestion, much to Ben’s chagrin, to only get each other one Christmas gift. She hadn’t said it, but Ben knew it was because she didn’t have a lot of money to spare. Ben, of course, wanted to shower her in presents, give her everything she didn’t get to have growing up, but he had managed to restrain himself.

 

This little gift that Rey currently holds in her hands, however, is different.

 

“Oh, this was actually something I already had laying around.”

 

“So you didn’t spend any money on it?” she asks him, her skeptical eyes returning to his.

 

“I mean, I spent money when I bought it when I was, like, fourteen,” he replies, chuckling.

 

A smile is starting to creep up on her face.

 

"Just open it, Rey,” Ben tells her.

 

Slowly, carefully, Rey unwraps the small, rectangular shaped present.

 

~

 

As she finishes unwrapping the present, she realizes she’s holding a tattered paperback copy of _The Shining._

“This book is _huge_!” Rey exclaims.

 

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not _that_ big,” Ben chuckles and then shrugs. “I figured it’s a three and a half hour drive to my parents’. If at any point you get bored talking to me, you can open up the book and get some reading done.”

 

Rey laughs at his comment as she opens the book. Her brow furrows at something that’s written on the back of the front cover and Ben must notice because he asks, “What is it?”

 

“I thought you said this book belonged to you.”

 

“It does. Well, it _did_. It’s yours now.”

 

“Then why does it say, _Property of Kylo Ren._ ”

 

His face turns a delightful shade of pink when she asks this, and Rey’s lips lift into a curious smile.

 

“I should have scratched that out or something,” Ben mutters, running a hand through his hair.

 

"So, who is he?”

 

Ben groans. “Kylo Ren was my…alter ego when I was a moody teenager.”

 

“ _What?_ ” Rey shrieks in delight. “Tell me more immediately!”

 

Ben sighs and laughs a little as he puts the keys into the ignition. “Let’s get on the road first, and then _maybe_ I’ll tell you.”

 

Rey reaches out and squeezes Ben’s bicep affectionately. “Oh, you’ll tell me. And if not, I’m sure your parents will. Gosh, I’m _so_ excited about this trip. I mean, I was a little nervous before, but now I’m _pumped._ ”

 

Removing one hand from the steering wheel, Ben uses it to grab Rey’s left hand. He lightly squeezes it and quickly glances her way to smile. She gives him a broad grin back as they pull out of the parking lot and into the street.

 

For the first half of the trip, they talk casually, and then Rey suggests reading her new book aloud. Ben’s face lights up at the suggestion, and Rey begins reading.

 

Occasionally, she’ll pause and look up at Ben. His eyes may be on the road, but she can tell from his expression that he’s intensely focused on the words she’s reading. It’s incredibly endearing, and it causes her heart to swell.

 

If someone had told Rey a few months ago that she would have finished Calculus with an A _and_ gotten a boyfriend out of it, she would have laughed in that person’s face. But somehow, she got both of those things… and she still couldn’t believe it sometimes. Despite her A though, Rey still hates Calculus, of course; however, she’s also starting to get the feeling that she may be falling in love with Ben Solo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe this is it. Honestly, this fic was such a learning experience for me. I can't believe I managed to outline and then complete a fic with over 35,000 words, something I'm incredibly proud of. Writing this fic also taught me so many things I'd do differently in the future, and for that I am grateful. 
> 
> Thank you so, so much to everyone who has stuck with this fic. Your encouraging comments and kudos mean so much. Honestly, the Reylo fandom (specifically those fanfic writers and readers here) has some of the most delightful people, and I'm so glad to be a tiny part of it.
> 
> Again, thank you all <3

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](https://castle-and-crowns.tumblr.com)


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